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thoughts - zephyrus lyrics

i’m not too sure what i should feel
maybe happy?
maybe angry?
some days i see no point in living
that happens to be most days
i lay in my bed thinking of what i did wrong
i know i’ve made some bad choices
even some selfish ones
but i never meant to hurt anyone
that’s never my intention
i scroll on my phone for hours on end
i find a photo of when i was happy
i smile and remember that good memory
then it hits me
i’ll never have a good memory like that for a while
i do regret my choices
the bad onеs atleast
i’m trying to change
it doesn’t seem to bе working
these new meds don’t seem to be working either
i find myself zoning out a lot
not sure why
maybe it’s a stress thing
i haven’t done anything this summer
just lay in bed on my phone
this summer was the closest i’ve ever been to ending it all
i didn’t though
too scared
i try to not talk about my feelings too much
i don’t want to bother anyone
some people don’t care about them
some people get angry at my feelings
i’m sorry to anyone i’ve ever scared
i get so messed up inside that i make stupid decisions
i lash out at the wrong people
i think ending it might be the only way out
i don’t want to think this way anymore
but i believe i’ll always feel this way

- zephyrus lyrics

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