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uncertainty - .z3r0. lyrics

[verse 1]
eyes f-cked red and swoll
tear ducts unable to stay full
drugs (yeah) they beginnin’ to dull
one day at a time
thats the sh-t i’m told
look at my fake smile
like crankin’ an unplugged dial
no matter how much i was hated
or viewed as vile
i always stated i love you
‘fore the conversation faded
clearly that was the wrong style
or overrated
my mindsets outdated
thought it was the long game i was playin’
maybe it was
maybe i wasn’t wrong
and maybe i’m not f-cked up
maybe i don’t need anotha cup
no more doubled up
lean muck f-ck
man i should just suck it up
don’t even f-ck with her
can’t just go trustin’ her
cuz then i’ll be lovin’ her
yeah i still think about you
and those dreams bein’ lucid
is all too true
leave me and now i’m the fool
scream at me again as if i’m the one whose cruel
what’s a man to do
when his heart’s in two
and he has a fresh wound
that made his soul move
what else is left for me
these hoes’ll be beckoning
ends up a lesson he
never goes mentioning
i hear you say those three words to him
and it’s like i can’t stand
i run to the drugs
hold them in my hand
just contemplatin’ if it’ll change me as a man
just demonstratin’ how my genetic strands
are beyond repair
“yeah there you go kid
blame it on those who gave you your hair
blame it on those who gave the colors of your irises when you stare”
i promise i don’t wanna hurt anyone
i just want some love from one
but if all i get is f-ckin’ none
then i’ll try to fill the void with the respect of you slums
no offense
but your opinion don’t mean a thing
what matters is who she sees
apprehending and k!lling this beat
rendering the rest of the game p-ssies

[bridge]
man i don’t know
just don’t know

[verse 2]
should i feel happiness
feel like i’m getting somewhere
i’m far from the best
but i’m not as sh-t as the rest
all they do is drugs
f-ck man some molest
raping to get some
get up the next day
and call themselves the one
should i be done
should i walk out now
give this mic my final bow
before i turn out
i can’t figure out if its worth it
or if its even workin’
i still feel my heart hurtin’
i still replay you callin’ for the curtains
i dont know why i torture myself
why i scroll through your pictures
i know its not gonna end well
god i just wanna quit
how can you just let up
i gave you everything but you’re fed up
and now he gets you for better or worse
i’m so done with carrying the torch
sh-t’s beginnin’ to burn
i act strong when you’re near
but the truth is i’m drowning
tryna replace my surroundings
it’s like time slows down
and it’s impossible for me to frown
let alone cry
but when youre gone my emotions go to battle
sadness screeches and anger begins to rattle
so another cup i’m downing
drinkin from that royal crown b
no matter how much i try
i’ll never forget our photos
cuz it’s so cold
bein’ alone
knowin’ what i know so
i phone home
hopin it’ll better my lone dome
there’s a reason these marks are in ink
they allow the dark to prosper and think
the thing that pushes people ’til they sink
that’s the curse of how i think
maybe it’ll help
maybe i’ll stop crying
and maybe i’ll stop dreaming of dying
and feedin’ the fire
i’m done actin’ tough
that sh-t’s too much
and every thought is an uppercut
why am i so f-ckin’ f-cked up
can’t think straight
let alone put out a mixtape
i just wait for it to go away
cuz those demons never stay
they come
prey
and then rest for a couple days
thats when i get this sh-t off my chest in more than a few ways
i make plays
stay awake
for hours at a time
tryna finesse and make this homicide of rhymes an unsolvable crime
then i just feel like a mime
reiteratin’ what the others are sayin’
maybe this game i shouldn’t be playin’
maybe it’s another area i have no place in
these shoulders been holdin’ boulders
and as i get older
the weight won’t wait
about to faint as my back aches
my senses get duller as i search for somethin more full or
i don’t know myself
but i know this cell all too well
and the sky has fell
heaven is h-ll
and now depression is where i dwell
my only friend is the sliver of sinicality that comes sneakin’ in
will i ever win
or is every move in another wrong direction
will my voice inflection
work as a better infection
help cure all the f-cked up souls they’ve been collectin’
or will everyone focus on the evil side
the devilish cry that resides within my mind
this music isn’t for you
it’s always been mine
last battle and i’m runnin’ outta time
i don’t know if i can go acapella
will they remember me right
or is it an effect of mandela
like dilemma by nella
try to work myself out of it
but this is me and i guess i gotta be proud of it

[outro]
this is all i have left
control these voices in my head
rip you all into shreds
f-ck
i don’t think ya’ll understand
you don’t know the man i am now
the smilin’ one
always messin’ actin’ a fool
he left me and now so will you

- z3r0 lyrics

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