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crack of integrity - yseek lyrics

intro: [yseek]
well now really
when we go back, then, to falling in love
and say it’s crazy
falling
you see, we don’t say rising into love
there is in it the idea of the fall

verse 1: [fenksta]
it’s easy to show you my charming side
you saw through my sorrow, that i often cried
“why are you so sad ?”, she asked the second we met
“are you the one?”, so i made you mine * no regrets
i spoke the truth, saw you were wise
my shadow will shine because of your light
i show you oncе more who i really am
touched a random girl in front of you, еscalated to a million
thinking you should run, the seed was ready to glow
pride’ll be my downfall, i want to acknowledge it all
is this the right decision here ?
shouldn’t you prep your body ? don’t talk in fear
rude, senseless
truth is there’s a gap in what i say and a i choose, full of pretenses
you see, how could i answer the divine
when my own head is not entirely mine ?
verse 2: [fenksta]
my legs were shaking when i made the suggestion
this pending disaster should vanish by injection
what do i say to my sisters ? to my mom ? to me ?
i bring them flowers every week
tell ’em a tale of how i treated something that was ours
we’re all adults here, pushing 40
we’re not a match, but please show up for me, at least financially
four months you weeped alone, lying in your bed in pain
while i thought of how life is beautiful
and explored all the things i took in vain
all the things except the most important
of being a man

verse 3: [fenksta]
please understand
my mind was in a condition
to test selfishness and self*love, and their definition
i had to see their difference, don’t be mad
this is how i finally get approval from my dad
no! it wasn’t a creation
it was a mistake, probably yours
you wanna play the blame game ? it figures, of course
i never said ‘forgive me’, i never said ‘goodbye’
after all this time i never looked you in the eye
while you try and try and try to reach to me
’cause you can’t believe that this inhumane monster is me
the one who begged you not to f*ck with him
“hey, you should love yourself more”
the audacity to even say
but love was what i desperately need
so who got this the wrong way ?
but i politely answer your texts of grief
i guessed i hoped for forgiveness, a relief
god made me run into you in the streets as a glance
did i get a shot to explain myself ? a second chance ?
but i walk past you like a ghost, a ghost that i am
a ghost, a ghost, a ghost that i am
a lost sh*ll*like vision of a man
bridge / dance break

verse 4: [fenksta]
but you know my friend time ?
i’ve been brought to reckoning
today my grandpa died and i finally see
are you tired of surviving men like me ?
god or the devil have no play in the ways we met
i call it fate, it was all us, and it was real
while i travel the world to find peace
and explore all the things i call destiny
all the things except the most important
human integrity

verse 5: [yseek]
that night by the river, you should believed me what i said
i am a drama addict, that’s exactly what i meant
you think this adult masquerade is easy
and that my soul is not poisoned
yes, yes * i am an avoidant
so you’re all grown up and take my red flags as a bouquet ?
now who the f*ck are you trying to portray ?
how many liters of disappointment for a lost soul like me ?
please, please, you must accept my apology
my ex broke my heart, that narcissist was the worst
i don’t know how to communicate, so why didn’t you leave me first ?
i can’t handle this, please
i can’t hold sp*ce for your pain
i * i know you’re the one to blame
i’ll always have me
’cause living in the moment is the key

- yseek lyrics

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