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the turkish man and my russian wife - young cracker lyrics

[intro]

[verse: young cracker]
started this inception selling dollar clover stickers
tryna get a walgreen’s bonus with saint patrick’s swishers
after such a rush of people, shift turned silent
still had 5 minutes left until the clock out timin’
suddenly to one’s surprise, we got a new person
wearing dirty jeans and a wife beater lurkin’
in comes this turkish man, weighing half a ton
coming over super friendly like he sees his son
“hi buddy” he said happily “life is full of treats!”
sounded really happy, then he looked at me with defeat
“i mean it” he said sadly, i just nodded and said thanks
then he melted through the floor, scent burning like dank
shift ended finally done, clocked out and made a run
then i dashed right to my car, i could barely see the sun
it was peaking through the bushes, something else was too
pops out the turkish man saying “i warned you”
i politely waved and put it in reverse to go home
try to stay cool, practice strength when i’m alone
sped a little quick to see the one i loved more than life
parked at the garage and had the key to my side
sprinted to the door to open, and like all might said “i’m here!”
didn’t hear any word from my dear
so i got a little nervous, turned to run up to the stairs
on the first step i see a note with a frowny face stared
i picked up the note and opened up to what it says
“nothing nice came, everything bad won’t go away”
wonder where my russian wife was at, this best be shutka
had my head down in stress, top stair i look up
facing me was another note with a screaming face on front
felt terrorized, the one word note said “f-ck”
so i rush right to our bedroom door and my thoughts turned dark
the door was damaged and had the word “love” in scratch marks
it was a little weird, maybe satan got too h-rny
but i couldn’t stop shaking all the ideas that were forming
but one last note was taped where the doorkn-b was at place
half-happy half-sad face that said “i’m okay!”
feel relieved for one second, but a second thought i reckon
she would usually text me if she’s going through a negative message so
something is not right, i quickly kick down the door
to see my wife covered in stab wounds, laying on the floor
1000 thoughts nascar my tubes as i see her with a knife
this wasn’t a murderer, she took her own life
i couldn’t tell what the h-ll caused this, her whole smile was a lie
as my biggest fear came true, i started to cry
drowning in my own grief, i faintly hear a laugh
wonder what sick demon thinks this isn’t bad
i look up and to my sight i see a 3 foot clown
it’s from that wants to play horror game, staring me down
i hear faint types of chuckles as the intensity gets worse
i can’t tell where i’m at anymore, i’m living in a curse
but one last thing i notice, there’s a note on him too
i open it up, it says “don’t say i didn’t warn you”
now i can’t contain my sanity, i finally know the truth
it was a murder planned as suicide from that f-ckin’ turkish dude
my hands are earthquaking and i’m taking this no more
then i see her blood had formed some words on the floor
“you made this mistake happen and you should carry that mistake”
so i decide to do so and head to the fake lake
i swallow all my terror, must accept that she is dead
left arm held legs, right arm held head
i went down the stairs, time to take her corpse outside
headed to the public pool with water in my eyes
as i’m doing this i see my neighbor step out too
i live right next to casey neistat, guess that’s pretty cool
but then he sees me with my dead wife and he runs back inside
i have nothing to lose but hate the context sight
travelling to the pool, my legs are super shook
i can see there’s n0body at this pool here to look
finally kick the gate open as i walk right to the edge
bushes covering the corners, i see shaking in the hedge
as it stops, so does my heart, as the one who made it shake
now i see some of her blood trickle to the fake lake
the water starts to boil, is this some hallucenation?
why is my mind doing this, making bubble constellations?
suddenly i see what’s causing it, it’s none other than
the one who morphed through the floors, that f-ckin’ turkish man
“hey buddy” he says, “shut the f-ck up” i scream
“i know you’re the one who did this to the love of my dreams”
“calm down” he tries to order, in a near to happy tone
“i just have one thing to say and then i will leave you alone”
“well you better make it quick” i said, “i gotta carry this mistake
“she didn’t even need to die and be brought back to this lake”
“i agree” he says, “it’s pretty messed up
“it’s really terrible that she had to get stabbed in a perra”
i then look at him in absolute confusion
is this some sort of turkish slang that he be usin’?
“what the h-ll’s an a perra?” i said as he smirks and struts
then he leans over to me and says “a perra deez nuts”
right after that happens i see my wife get up
she starts laughing her -ss off saying “yeah, deez nuts”
they both start laughing at me as i f-ckin’ realized i’m pranked
now it’s time for me to wake up as i carried a mistake

- young cracker lyrics

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