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douchey - you won't lyrics

douchey come and douchey go
what does douchey want?
only douchey knows
douchey done like he did before
i was douchey once but i ain’t no more

i was seventeen when i first believed
i was young and strong, i was sad and mean
and it was ten long years learning how to breathe
in a bubble buried six feet deep

only twenty-one, i was dead and gone
up and hung my head from the highest rung
and it’s a long way down from all kingdom come
to a mop and broom and a staple gun

douchey come and douchey go
what does douchey want?
only douchey knows
douchey done like he did before
i was douchey once but i ain’t no more

nooooooooooooo!

oh when i was just a little boy, my daddy sat me down
said, “my son, you are a douchey, douchey won’t you do me proud?”
so i shunned the foolishnesses of the other kids at play
scuttled off my youthfulness and i just set out on my way
down the straight and narrow highway headed right into the sun
and when i got to new york city, all the zeroes turned to ones
and i was wandering the sidewalk telling strangers where to go
i was singing like a savior in a manger all alone
’til i made myself a martyr and nobody seemed to mind
broke a window with my b-ttocks but my b-ttocks were just fine
’til i woke up in a forest with my fingers turning blue
and started serving ice cream sandwiches to men in business suits
took a look into the mirror
said “oh god, what can i do
to feel like a human being and not a
douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche?”

douchey come and douchey go
what does douchey want?
only douchey knows
douchey done like he did before
i was douchey once but i ain’t no more

- you wont lyrics

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