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welcome to yoglabs - yogscast lyrics

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[intro]
[lewis, speaking]
simon!

[simon, speaking]
yeah?

[lewis, speaking]
the new yoglabs employee manual is here, and i think it could be a good idea if i go through some of it with you, you know?

[simon, speaking]
sure. what’s with the music?

[lewis, speaking]
well, it’s been proven in tests that music helps people take in information
especially if they’ve just been cloned

[simon, speaking]
what?

[lewis, speaking]
don’t worry about it!
it just covers the basics, you know. brainwashing, thought control, the café menu…

[simon, speaking]
café menu?

[lewis, speaking]
simple stuff we all need to know, yeah?

[simon, speaking]
all right. cool

[verse 1, lewis]
welcome to yoglabs
the home of innovation
where the only limit
is your limited imagination

but sometimes things can maybe get a bit out of hand
so we’ve got a plan that you need to understand

page 4 – don’t ever disturb the testificates while they’re working

[simon, speaking]
oh, i might have already done that, because mandrew got out and i was chasing him…

[lewis]
page 7 – don’t ever go in that room that has the black door on level three

[simon, speaking]
why, what’s in there?

[lewis, speaking]
don’t worry about it, it’s fine

[bridge, female testificate]
come with me to yoglabs, baby
we make coffee that’ll blow your cares away
take one sip and you can’t help but obey

[testificate scientist]
just ignore that death ray

[verse 2, lewis, speaking]
so, you still with me simon?

[simon, speaking]
i think so, but lewis, there’s something bothering me…

[lewis, speaking]
good to hear it! let’s carry on, shall we?
[singing]

here in yoglabs
we pioneer technology

[robot]
from robot girlfriends

[lewis]
to goldfish bigonometry

so if you’re feeling sick or experiencing anti-gravity
it could be either radiation or a ripped space time reality

[simon]
uh…

[lewis]
so page 13 – if the microchip in your neck starts to itch, don’t scratch it

[simon, speaking]
microchip? what the h-ll lewis… ow!

[lewis]
and on page 18 – in the event of incoming missiles, please head to the bunker

[simon, speaking]
pardon? what? missiles?

[lewis, speaking]
don’t worry about it!

[bridge, female testificate]
come with me to yoglabs, baby
we really care about your personal safety
don’t you worry about the time travel paradox
ignore that triceratops

[testificate scientist]
his name is steve

[verse 3, simon (speaking)]
lewis?

[lewis, speaking]
yeah?

[simon, speaking]
i’m a little bit worried-

[lewis, speaking]
it’s all under control! don’t worry about it!

[simon, speaking]
i don’t really know…

[lewis]
well sacrifices must be made to achieve world domination
it’ll all be over soon, don’t worry about that abomination

[simon, speaking]
no! nope! that’s it! that’s it! i’ve had enough! i’ll put a stop to this!

[lewis, yelling]
simon!

[simon, speaking]
i’m not doing what you tell me anymore!

[lewis, yelling]
mandrew, stop him!

[simon, yelling]
mandrew and i are out of here!

[lewis, yelling]
ah! why is this microchip not working!

[simon, yelling]
you’re not the boss of me!

[lewis, yelling]
simon, i’m telling you-!

[simon, yelling]
i’m not going to do what you tell me anymore! see, i’m going to push this b-tton-

[lewis, yelling]
nononono, don’t press that b-tton!

[simon, yelling]
-and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!

[lewis, yelling]
don’t press it!

[simon, speaking]
oh…

[explosion]
[bridge, female testificate on boombox]
come with me to yoglabs baby
only 1 fatal incident lately
initiate the re-building protocol
sit back, enjoy the show

[outro, lewis (speaking)]
ah… okay, fresh clone. simon?

[new simon, speaking]
ah! h-llo!

[lewis, speaking]
oh! the new yoglabs employee manual has arrived. would you like to take a look?

- yogscast lyrics

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