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alexithymia - xdium lyrics

[chorus: xdium]
fall in line
not so f*ckin simple when you wanna die
there’s no room for you up in this crowded mind
they tell me speak up, but my mouth’s taped shut
and i won’t fall down
i perceive
the same old f*ckin cycle that stays on repeat
they won’t waste their time to help
me on my feet
so i’ll stay down here, and bottle it up
alexithymia

[verse 1: xdium]
i can’t even begin to explain this inability
to show my f*cking feelings maybe act a little humanly
i still write my poems just to show you all my misery
but then my words taken and turned back into artillery
shot at me, manipulating all my insecurities
you only feel happy when you’re hurting me
and i don’t why but i’ll take another blow and pin it on maturity
spark one up when it gets too tough
i don’t even like the taste but i need that rush
spent like twenty dollars on a pack to crush
just to throw it all away like i did to us
[chorus: xdium]
fall in line
not so f*ckin simple when you wanna die
there’s no room for you up in this crowded mind
they tell me speak up, but my mouth’s taped shut
and i won’t fall down
i perceive
the same old f*ckin cycle that stays on repeat
they won’t waste their time to help
me on my feet
so i’ll stay down here, and bottle it up
alexithymia

[verse 2: major grey]
no words in these emotions, i need mental help
it feels like all my life has been one big ass show and tell
one day they love me, then they hate me, man, i’m so compelled
why can’t they see into the real me instead of wish me well
maybe i’m not meant to be like them
tell me why i can never quite fit in
you ain’t never been here on this side
come take a trip through my mind

you’ll see what it feels like to hurt
and one day you must learn
is we all get our turn
when there’s no rebirth
you best prepare for the worst
[chorus: xdium]
fall in line
not so f*ckin simple when you wanna die
there’s no room for you up in this crowded mind
they tell me speak up, but my mouth’s taped shut
and i won’t fall down
i perceive
the same old f*ckin cycle that stays on repeat
they won’t waste their time to help
me on my feet
so i’ll stay down here, and bottle it up
alexithymia

[post*chorus: xdium]
i do, more damage when i say what i think
i’ve proved, i’m nothing good for you or myself
i’ll run away in attempts to save ya
plant myself into drapetomania
so indulged in this pent up anger
i’ll sit still on my best behavior

[outro: xdium]
fall in line, fall in line

- xdium lyrics

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