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if you want love (remix) - xanity lyrics

verse 1:
all i ever wanted was love from my family
only to turn around and have them neglect me out of jealousy
i never understood, why they treated me so differently
until one day i sat down and my momma told me everything
i treated you respectfully
you tell me you have hate for me
i try to work exceptionally
you never had words to say to me
i was made so imperfectly
if i was dead, would you remember me?

verse 2
i’m a n-body
but that’s ok
i wasted too much time and energy
trying to hide behind my pain
i hide behind this rapper
to hide the fact that i’m self-conscious
tell my mom i’m sorry that i couldn’t keep my promise
i hope you understand that i lost myself in the process
of trying to pack my anger in all theses boxes
tell my mom i’m sorry that i couldn’t keep my promise

verse 3
what if i told you i was trapped in my mind? would you look at me different or look at me and smile?
what if i told you that i was struggling to keep my focus? would you let me go backwards or leave me with my emotions?
sometimes i find it hard to express why i feel this pain
but sometimes my mind thinks it’s a game
i hate to admit this. but i haven’t been myself lately
and i can barely catch a breath lately

- xanity lyrics

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