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monster - xana lyrics

[verse 1]
i hold your mistakes high over your head
especially when they look like mine
i’m not one to hand out my forgiveness
but i expect it every time
it’s just me and the accusations you made
it pains me to admit you were right
someday i will be someone you resent
honey, the pleasure is all mine

[chorus]
well, i heard you’re calling me a traitor
owe you a good apology, i’ll do it later
wrote all my stories and i paint myself thе good guy
this is the end of my tunnel, it’s a gaslight
yеah, i heard you’re calling me a monster
after all the sh*t i pulled, you could do better
heart of gold, will i fold for a good time?
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right

[verse 2]
you gave me your all
it was intimate
i guess it ain’t your fault
that i can’t commit
yeah, you talk till you scream, i never listen
i couldn’t help but feel so indifferent
yeah, all my failures are visceral
i still taste blood from years ago
push and shove til you’re giving up
just to prove you ain’t good enough
shoot my meanest words like arrows
i make d*mn sure they echo
i make d*mn sure they echo
[chorus]
well, i heard you’re calling me a traitor
owe you a good apology, i’ll do it later
wrote all my stories and i paint myself the good guy
this is the end of my tunnel, it’s a gaslight
yeah, i heard you’re calling me a monster
after all the sh*t i pulled, you could do better
heart of gold, will i fold for a good time?
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right

[verse 3]
i can’t even be honest with myself
how could you believe i’d do that for someone else?
lying out of my t**th and it sounds so nice
you’re down on your knee, but i don’t want that life
you’re waiting for me at the back of the bar
while i’m kissing boys in the back of their cars
it’s half past 3 and you’re fast asleep
while i’m on the phone with jodie
will i ever know why i am like this?
i go for what i can’t have like i’m righteous
i’m pointing all of my fingers, can’t face the shame
if you wanna place blame, just say my name
i go home alone and i think it’s strange
i got what i want but it don’t taste the same
now the only ones who know me are my felonies, tellin me
everyone who’s ever loved me is the enemy
i get high on all the jealousy
you can’t forgive the infidelity
and i can’t take it back and i don’t wanna be
someone who lives like that in this economy
when i was supposed to be a good friend, trusted
i snuck around with the love of your life instead
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[chorus]
well, i heard you’re calling me a traitor
owe you a good apology, i’ll do it later
wrote all my stories and i paint myself the good guy
this is the end of my tunnel, it’s a gaslight
yeah, i heard you’re calling me a monster
(calling me a monster)
after all the sh*t i pulled, you should do better
(you should do better)
heart of gold, but i fold for a good time
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right

[outro/refrain]
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
(you should do better)
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
(you should do better)
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
i’ll do what i want, what i want over what’s right
do what i want, what i want over what’s right

- xana lyrics

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