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goodbye - x (random) lyrics

-chorus-
i really tried to be a good guy,-
but ever since my child’hood i,-felt so lonely if only they understood my,-
pain maybe if i had some encouragement i’d feel the p-ssion that’d inspire me so i would try,-
but right now i feel like i could cry,-
sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
i don’t fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
goodbyeeeeee…goodbyeeee

trust me i am no fool,-
i’m aware that this world is so cruel,-

but i don’t understand the reason i was put in this”’place ‘n why i’m here,-
it seems to me like i’m jiss”’wastin’ my time here (jiss – just)

i feel like my life has no meaning er purpose,- (er -or)
people keep yellin’ at me screaming yer worthless (yer – your)

life in this world is so unfair it’s so ridiculous,-
i’m over sick of this,-

i try to enjoy life so much i’m f-ckin’ dyin’ to live a bit,-
i’m tryin’ to give a sh-t,-
but nothin’ is goin’ my way,-
sh-t just keeps gettin’ worse ‘n there’s always somethin’ to f-ck up my day,-

i feel sick so i seek help from doctors but the motherf-ckers don’t care about me they just want their d-mn money,-
‘n i can’t even trust my own f-ckin’ family,-

i’m tired of life but i’m scared to die,-i’m so accustomed to this bullsh-t i’m too despaired to cry,-

and it seems this paranoia”’i feel is real ‘n i appear to be hexed
my own mother”’still is stealin’ my security checks

it’s gotten to the point i only see the worst in people,-i feel like every person’s evil,-
i’m pessimistic ‘n paranoid to the point i’m always lookin’ at life’s bad side,-
i look at my empty past and lack of accomplishments and wonder what life would’ve been like if i had tried,-
‘n honestly i wish that i had died-
instead of my sister,-miranda or on second thought she’d have to suffer instead but godd-mnit i miss her,-
i see her in my dreams ‘n all these memories are painful but i continue to keep these re”’mind”’ers intact-
even when pain awakens me ‘n compels me to put every emotion into each line verse ‘n track,-

i contemplate endurin’ life ‘n its struggles ‘n i don’t think it’s worth livin’ for it,-
i put in so much work but bullsh-t is all i’m given for it,-
‘n i’m sick of takin’ this sh-t,-
it’s like i got diarrhea my stomach’s upset just thinkin’ about every effort i’m makin’ is it,-
worth it?-what’s the point of earth it,-
bothers me ‘n i have so many questions,-
i want the right answers ‘n it seems only god has ’em lord do you have any suggestions,-
…
tell me after i die where the f-ck am i gonna go?-
will i be just another memory rottin’ in the earth or will i experience eternal bliss or d-mnation i wanna know,-
…
’cause as it is i go to sleep each night dreamin’ of death wonderin’ what it would be like if i would die tommorow,-
‘n finally be able to say good bye to sorrow
…
i feel like leavin’ this world ’cause there’s really nothin’ to stay for,-
livin’ every day sore-always yearnin’ for way more,-
takin’ shots at life hopin’ i may score,-
but i always come up way short,-
…
this depraved world isn’t worth stayin’ ‘n livin’ in,-
‘n i’m sick of dealin’ with this constant bullsh-t my resolve’s finally swayin’ ‘n givin’ in,-
…
to my head i put the barrel of a loaded pistol,-
‘n pray to god i’ll go to a place that’s happy ‘n blissful,-

i feel like i don’t belong in this world i don’t””wanna live in-i don’t fit in,- (live ‘n)
‘n when i feel like i’ma succ-mb to the stress i try to tell myself i’m not”’gonna give in,-i won’t quit ‘n-

i’ma continue composin’ these songs ‘n keep writin’ ’till i die ’cause my life is a mess,-
so i’m always upset attemptin’ to release my emotions i’m tryin’ to stress,-
but i fail so i’m uptight ‘n socially awkward ’cause i’m always too shy ‘n depressed,-
there’s a war in my mind transpirin’ ‘n i’m dyin’ fightin’ against the tears i do cry ‘n suppress

i’m always tired but when i’m too frightened to rest””n i’m scared i have noone to run to i,-
feel like sayin’ i’m done guh bye,- (guh bye – good bye)
i want help but none of my-
friends understand why i feel this way or know of the other feelings that i underlie,-
‘n right now i feel like puttin’ a gun to my,-
head ‘n blastin’ it i ain’t gonna lie,-honestly i wanna die,-
but i really wanna enjoy life so i keep tellin’ myself that i’m gonna try-
to move on but i’m overwhelmed by the obstacles in frunna my,- (in front of my)
path and it makes me just wanna cry,-
i keep prayin’ to god for help ‘n answers but he won’t respond i wonder why,-
man all i f-ckin’ wanted was one reply,-
but now i’m suicidal and homicidal rummagin’ through my gun supply,-

i attempt to conjure up words for a suicide letter ‘n how i should”’say good bye,-
to everyone but on second thought i just wish””they would die

‘n as i write these words i try to convince myself that i don’t care anymore,-
but if that’s true then why does the thought of death keep scarin’ me for,-

when i’ve been traumatized by depression ‘n tragedy,-
while other people just walk past me without aggression ‘n happily,-
brag about their good times ‘n their silly happy lives,-
ignorant of other people around them ‘n their really cr-ppy lives,-
‘n don’t understand what people like me every day go through,-
they just make -ssumptions about you based on their preconceptions ‘n that think they know you,-

sayin’ you’re special and your life’s precious but i honestly don’t know why i’m even alive,-
i want to find the will to achieve ‘n the drive-
to live but i’ve lost all motivation and interest to go on so i feel like i have no reason to strive-
i try to take advantage of the happy things in life but i’m bein’ deprived,-
instead people take advantage of me so i feel like a bee in a hive,-
i feel like i don’t wanna live yet i continue”’still to breathe ‘n survive,-
i’ve accomplished nothin’ if only i had some real achievement to thrive,-
on but i don’t so i just mope around lookin’ down on happy higher cl-ss people at the top with anger while they look down on”’me in delight,-
i respond with indifferent apathy though they don’t recognize my agony and pleadin’ despite-
my cries ‘n respond by”’bein’ polite,-instead of relievin’ the plight,-
i’m in distressin’ in depression stressin’ attemptin’ expressions tryin’ to stress it f-ck everyone i want to exceed ‘n to write,-
so i’m needin’ the might-to succeed ‘n to fight,-
so my future won’t be bleak ‘n unbright-in which case i’m seekin’ the light,-
but i’m too blinded by rage hatin’ everybody i’m insecure weak ‘n uptight,-
‘n all i can do is grieve in the spite,-
so f-ck it if i finish writin’ this letter today i’ma say goodbye to this cruel world ’cause i’m leavin’ tonight,-

to go to a place afar ‘n what lies ahead is unknown,-
‘n i suspect i’ma probably go to h-ll but i ain’t goin’ alone-echo alone 3 times-,-

-chorus-
since my childhood i-tried to be a good guy,-
but noone understood my-pain no matter how much i would try-
to explain ‘n it’s gotten to this point where i feel like i could cry,-
sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
i don’t fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
goodbyeeeeee…goodbyeeee

- x random lyrics

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