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vault boy vs cole phelps - woodenhornets lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battle parodies
vault boy
vs
cole phelps
begin

[verse 1: cole phelps]
hey vault boy, i’m gonna kick your -ss
i solve a lot of cases with this magnifying gl-ss
your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
i will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts fallout
you’re hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
you’re such a little b-tch, no wonder daddy ran away
my name is cole phelps, hoe, i’m from l.a. noire
you look 6? 10? 12? tell us how old you are
you’re such a dumb-ss, you can reach through that window
to unlock the door, but instead you use a lock pick and a cord
ouch, hear that burn? ain’t that a kick in the head?
no holes in the bowl, eat irradiated bread!
you let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
they probably heard about what you did to megaton
you’re a vilified villain, imma take you in
have you freakin’ question by my partner herschel biggs

[verse 2: vault boy]
my name is vault boy and i am a swift learner
your games are a little repet-tive, chasing every d-mn burglar
that game l.a. noire is a bl–dy mess
i can run away them burglars with my terrifying presence
i am called lord death, i’m a real lady k!ller
maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers
i’m a rad child, you’re just a stupid piece of sh-t
i solve cases on terminals cuz i’m a computer whiz
all my companions make everything easy
and guess what, none of them hate me
i gotta strong back, i carry all of my junk
it’s such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk
nuka cola, sarsaparilla, drinking victory
between you and me, you’re always crashing in a tree
i will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm

[verse 3: cole phelps]
listen here little boy, shall i truth, doubt or lie?
you woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise
doing what i do makes me cha-ching
i know where things are when i hear -ding ding-

[verse 4: vault boy]
oh please, you got washed out your -ss
my currency is decent cause i have some bottle caps, b-tch
i have nerves of steel, you made roy earl a deal
you’d blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, i did, now go squeal

- woodenhornets lyrics

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