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not tonight - witheren lyrics

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“is this you talking or the liquor? – i am the liquor!”

pour a liquor never brewed
down the barrel of my throat
drop whiskey in an i.v
to help skip another day

to help defer my dreams
’cause i don’t want to fight
i can’t rage or kick and scream
against the dying of the light

this weltered heart will lie
six feet deep in thought tonight
with the last ones up past dark
crossing eyes with the faint glow
in the top corner window
of the tallest tower block
away a street and a gl-ss pane
but next to me in misery

at least ’til i check out of here
one finger on the trigger
and two up in the air

break free from my chains
with an overdose
or by checking out a train
up real close
until then
i sleepwalk my shifts
walk home alone
drink myself to sleep
self pity and bleakly
rinse and repeat
’til i lose it again
hit harder the liquor
and then i get sicker
finish 2018
on clozapine
benzodiazepines
and long daydreams

alright
i’m riding shotgun through the night
scream at the darkness in delight
the city’s bright, my foot is light
upon the pavestones
among the gravestones

soon your son’s on the roof
threatening to jump
or bleeding before you
begging don’t call the cops
until i’m back on the meds
lying back in my bed
someday i’ll be dead
i’ll give up the fight
and then i’ll drink again
but not tonight

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