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guess my religion - willie d lyrics

pastor:
hey siter bettie, sister clara
and who is this? you new here, ain’t you brother?

willie d:
yep

pastor:
well welcome to mount paid in full
god sure is good, ain’t he?

willie d:
sure is

pastor:
well we gonna ask you to put all you valuables in this here cup
and p-ss all your other metal objects to brother swaggert
you can pick em up over there on the other side

willie d:
what, y’all having a problem with weapons or something in church?

pastor:
no, brother, it’s just that pastor gimme don’t want no change in the
church

verse 1:
ain’t that a b-tch, the churchhouse getting rich
but i’m looking like dookie on a stick
as soon as i walked in, they couldn’t wait
to p-ss that godd-mned collection plate
and before i could stick my dollar in
the ushers were making rounds again
to get there i had to hitch a ride
and these motherf-ckers talking about 20 percent in t-thes
telling me it’s for the homeless, and those
with nowhere to go, but at night the church door is closed
now you can come as you are
but you better be sharp as a tack, with a new car
cause if you ain’t got that cash
watch them so-called christians talk about your -ss
i don’t give a f-ck about your blessings
you want to know my religion, why don’t you guess it

chorus: (2x)
why’s everybody keep playing with god?

verse 2:
i gotta talk about these clowns behind the pulpit
cause they full of that bullsh-t
it’s no wonder they think they large
with these motherf-cking members treating they -ss like god
but they ain’t god cause god loves everybody
but baptist preachers, they backslide
when it comes to muslims they ain’t got no love
now what you motherf-ckers scared of?
that n-gg-s will abandon your vision
and say don’t give me that old time religion
i’m sick and tired of my homies getting killed
and the pastor’s saying that it’s god’s will
f-ck the enemy, yo i don’t love him
that’s why i cut for the motherf-cking muslims
put your hands on me and sh-t gets scary
i’m a put your -ss in a cemetary
now you’ll call me judas and say i ain’t right
but f-ck you b-tch, they talk about christ
i don’t give a f-ck about your blessings
you want to know my religion why don’t you guess it

chorus (2x)

verse 3:
now i know why my daddy don’t go no more
the church ain’t nothing but a fashion show
they going to meet and greet and peep and gaze
they ain’t trying to get saved
cause if they was they’d practice what they preached
and praise the lord more than one day out the week
maybe that’s why a n-gg- ain’t repenting
the churchhouse be having some fine -ss women in it
and that’s why the preacher can’t spread the word of the lord
cause he be looking just as hard
it’s the blind trying to lead the blind
and you wonder why n-gg-s is so behind
i can stay my -ss at the crib and watch the game
if i want to be entertained
cause this sh-t done got out of hand
motherf-ckers doing the b-mp in the choir stand
you get mad cause i’m questioning your merit
but godd-mnit if the shoe fit, wear it
i don’t give a f-ck about your blessings
you want to know my religion why don’t you guess it

chorus (4x)

this song was inspired by all you so-called saved motherf-ckers out there
the ones that’s backsliding
you sinner free motherf-ckers that be
jumping up and down in church every sunday and sh-t getting the holy ghost
but i’m a let you motherf-ckers know
if one of you hoes fall on me, i’m a knock your -ss smooth out
i don’t give a d-mn, i’m straight up with it
but some of you motherf-ckers be
going out to the club on sat-rday and sh-t
and coming to church with a motherf-cking hangover
and oh yeah, all you motherf-cking parents
that’s talking about willie d is a bad influence on your kids
f-ck you hoes, raise your own motherf-cking kids
i ain’t no motherf-cking role model
you be your motherf-cking kid’s role model, motherf-cking loser
yeah, just when a n-gg- start getting a piece of this apple pie
in america, you hoes want to start lining against rap
smashing up tapes and sh-t, what you want us to do
start by climbing through your motherf-cking windows
in the middle of the night?
you better speed on before you get peed on
now let the congregation say amen

- willie d lyrics

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