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as a card - why? lyrics

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i’ll hold my own death as a card in the deck
to be played when there are no other cards left

i’ll slip into the ocean, unnoticed
and notify no one on a notarized form
enter slow on a hot summer morning
like that one-legged locksmith in cold rain

but i’ll hold my own death as a card in the deck
to be played when there are no other cards left

as time drags on and i thin and whiten and my beard grows long
i might look like walt whitman
all sunken-eyed and dry and without pigment
but i want to be spry as a newborn kitten

and i’ll hold my own death as a card in the deck
to be played when there are no other cards left

i want to open like the bay does to the ocean
with an equal portion of every emotion
or soldier forward and be hard as a flat board
with the heart of an approaching asteroid
let go and ride like a cat’s toy in a dryer
stay true to my matter like a brick in fire
wrapped in my long years like a spool of wire
unspoiled by the foils of fame and desire

so i’ll hold my own death as a card in the deck
to be played when there are no other cards left
hold my own death as a card in the deck

- why lyrics

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