ivy 101 - weston gates lyrics
[voiceover: barack obama]
no issue will have a bigger impact on the future performance of our economy than education
[verse 1: weston gates]
okay i’m near rutgers, throwin’ beer on seersuckers
streakin’ naked through a lecture hall, screamin’ out, “i’m here, f-ckers!”
pullin’ pennies outta loafers, pee on pea coats and
chokin’ skinny guys around the throats by their vineyard vines
i drove off a bridge and blamed it on the kennedys
i f-cked my lab professor ‘cuz she told me, “this is chemistry”
me and four crooks broke in skull and bones to torch books
smashed geronimo’s head and sent it out to george bush
p-ssin’ off admissions officers, p-ssin’ off a third
story balcony to try to tell myself i’m not a nerd
takin’ asians on a campus tour, just makin’ sh-t up
“and this is where woodrow wilson first had his d-ck sucked”
[skit 1]
[verse 2]
it’s like i’m stranded here for 47-something grand a year
and i’ve studied f-ckin’ nothin’ but a couple brands of beer
mich-lle obama graduated, aren’t we glad she made at it?
i could show you every dorm in which she had her vag invaded
what? the truth is agitating, so should i feel bad to state it?
fine let’s all pretend no one she ever knew ej-cul-ted
sometimes i sit back and wonder what i’m destined for
and which bank my dad expects i’ll be investin’ for
but then i lose focus, f-ckin’ the fakest foxes, steadily smokin’
set to be broke and pedalin’ c0ke i’m mentally broken, gettin’ a stroke
i’m ready to choke, i hit the roof and chuck chobanis at a chubby chick
drop her like a ton of bricks and ask her if her snuggie fits
[skit 2]
[verse 3]
i love school- i studied abroad in the fall semester
that broad’s name was hester, i refused to call or text her
read her cover-to-cover, i just skipped through all the bl–dy parts
b-n-r up in women’s studies, i can say i studied hard
my mom says that while i’m here i need to network
so i’m callin’ eliot spitzer every time i need an escort
a couple ivy leaves leave me f-cked up quick
i leave then leave my d-ck stuck up a stuck-up chick
they say erections win elections, and donors sponsor b-n-rs
so i’m politickin’ while i’m hittin’ politician’s daughters
sneakin’ out and coppin’ all the vodka that her daddy bought her
like cromartie keepin’ track of all these legacies i’m finna father
my parents sent me here so i could be an engineer
the end is near and i’m just watchin’ all my friends’ careers
i’m kinda f-cked; but i don’t need to panic
they can’t kick me out until they learn that i’m not actually hispanic
[voiceover: obama]
what you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country
the future of america…depends on you
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