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american slob (1978 band demo) - "weird al" yankovic lyrics

these are the rules of etiquette
from texas to connecticut
just follow them and you’ll go far
you’ll be socially appealing
as long as you’re not revealing
the kind of person that you know you are

if you’re walking down the street
when a tough*looking character you meet
and he wants your legal tender
or a sampling of your gender
don’t scream or run away
or else he just might say that

you’re an unkempt, unpolished, uncoordinated
awkward, vulgar, rude and uncultuvated
ill*bred, tactless, co*rs*, and discourteous
boring, insensitive jerk

they’ll say you’re garish, barbaric
crass and outlandish
being uncouth is your job
you’re just an inveterate
communist degenerate
first class american slob
if in high society you’re a beginner
and you’re going to a formal dinner
here’s a rule you can’t forget
when they serve the crêpe suzette
it isn’t very cool
to eat with your entrenching tool

because these are the rules of etiquette
from texas to connecticut
good taste is here to stay
so be careful what you wear
and the way you comb your hair
or else everyone is gonna say

that you’re just an unkempt, unpolished, uncoordinated
awkward, vulgar, rude, and uncultivated
ill*bred, tactless, co*rs*, and discourteous
boring, insensitive jerk

they’ll say you’re garish, barbaric
crass and outlandish
being uncouth is your job
you’re just an inveterate
communist degenerate
first class american slob
they’ll say you’re garish, barbaric
crass and outlandish
being uncouth is your job
you’re just an inveterate
communist degenerate
first class american slob

- weird al yankovic lyrics

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