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the twelve days of christmas - wayne strange, kyle martin lyrics

narrator: on the first day of christmas, at precisely 6:43, a little boy hurried down the stairs, his eyes dancing with glee. straightaway did he look, and what did he see?
a cartridge under the tree
son: what is this, dad?
dad: well now, that’s the legend of zelda! you know, that was the very first video game santa brought me for christmas back when i was just about your age
son: zelda!? who’s he?
dad: ho ho! my boy, zelda is the princess of hyrule. you play as link, the valiant knight sworn to defend her kingdom from the forces of evil! pretty neat, huh?
son: mmm, i don’t know, dad… wouldn’t the name of thе game confuse peoplе?
dad: yes!
son: so then zelda’s a princess, right? with a big castle and lots of food and treasure and everything she could ever want! do you think she ever gave that knight guy any christmas presents?
dad: oh, you bet she did!
on the first day of christmas the princess gave to link
narrator: a chart hauled up from the great sea
on the second day of christmas the princess gave to link
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
narrator: on the third day of christmas the princess gave to link, three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
on the fourth day of christmas the princess gave to link
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
dad: you see, hyrule is a great, big world teeming with all sorts of colorful characters and unimaginable sights. but even grander is its history of brave heroes and legendary princesses who, together, battled for the sake of the kingdom for generations
son: sounds like the grown*ups sat around while the kids had to do all the dangerous work!
dad: not true! hyrule kingdom boasts a long line of wise and powerful kings!
let earth receive her king!
son: but what did the kings do that was so great?
dad: one of them was a boat
son: uhhh…
let earth receive her bo—
son: okay, that’s ridiculous
dad: i’m not finished! one was a ghost, well, two actually… another one was only really referenced in the manual. besides, so much of hyrule’s history has yet to even be recorded. who knows how many kings there were or what they did!
son: just how many are there so far?
five hyrule kings!
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
narrator: on the sixth day of christmas the princess gave to link, six cuccos clucking
five hyrule kings!
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
narrator: and on the seventh day of christmas, ‘t did the good princess give to link?
seven sages sealing
six cuccos clucking
narrator: five hyrule kings
five hyrule kings
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
on the eighth day of christmas the princess gave to link
eight malons milking
seven sages sealing
six cuccos clucking
five hyrule kings
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
son: how does all that fit in this old, plastic vhf?
dad: it doesn’t! this is only the first of many of link and zelda’s quests (it’s a “cartridge” by the way) to defeat ganon, an invincible pig monster!
son: an invincible pig monster?
dad: from sp*ce!
son: really!?
dad: no, he’s from hyrule
son: dad, you’re confusing me!
dad: not to worry, son! both you and link will have plenty of friends that can explain everything along the way
on the ninth day of christmas the princess gave to link
nine navis nagging
navi: h*llo!
eight malons milking
seven sages sealing
six cuccos clucking
five hyrule kings!
ranch hand: these goats still won’t go in!
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
dad: alright, your old man will take it from here!
on the tenth day of christmas the princess gave to link
ten lynels leaping
nine navis nagging
navi: hey! listen!
eight malons milking
seven sages sealing
villager: the cuccos are attacking!
(panicked screaming.)
five hyrule kings!
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
son: now for me!
on the eleventh day of christmas the princess gave to link
eleven gorons dancing
ten lynels leaping
dad: nine—
navi: hey!
hey, listen!
eight malons milking
seven sages sealing
six cuccos clucking
five hyrule kings!
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
son: is this almost over? i want to play already!
dad: h’okay, home stretch!
on the twelfth day of christmas the princess gave to link
on the twelfth day of christmas the princess gave to link
twelve hearts a*healing
eleven gorons dancing
ten lynels leaping
navi: stop ignoring me!
narrator: nine navis nagging, eight malons milking, seven sages sealing, six cuccos clucking
five hyrule kings!
four goats to herd
three loftwings
two golden bugs
and a chart hauled up from the great sea
it led to a gold rupee
narrator: and where did it all begin?
with that cartridge under the tree!
son: well, at least none of these kooky characters have anything to do with me!
dad: push the power b*tton, tingle

- wayne strange kyle martin lyrics

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