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suicide - wai liu lyrics

verse 1:
am i wasting my time, losing control of my life
is it okay to suffer and feeling down and not fine
just to see those grades and numbers go up
is it worth it just to get commended by the grown ups
cause when i wake up, i’m clouded by a dome
i can’t see my future in front me, cause it isn’t foretold
and i’m doing this work, but i’m still getting scold?
sometimes i feel that life isn’t really worth it to hold

when will this end, before i pull a trigger and ascend
losing all my hope, hanging on this ******* rope
smashing my head on a plank, my mind is turning to blank
just got shot by a tank, moving down in the ranks
they don’t seem to f*cking care even though i am there
i always tell them, that all this sh*t is so unfair
they say this is for the best, so just go to bed and rest
but i can’t because i’m so f*cking stressed

chorus: x2
is suicide the only way, of throwing stress and pain away
or something that we think of when a couple things don’t go our way
just wanna smile all the time when no dark thoughts would come to mind
but right now i’m just frozen in time as i keep on weeping why

verse 2:
got no time to relax the only thing that i lack
i think i’m off of my track, and i don’t feel i’m intact
nothing there to enjoy, cause i live in the void
cause i’m the one boy that everybody wants to avoid
i don’t understand, do what they f*cking demand
doing all this work, hoping not to go berserk
getting those grades, but they don’t think its okay
cause they want me to be the next, f*cking bill gates
everyday i try my hardest, i want them to know that i’m the smartest
but everyday is slowly getting f*cking harder
cause when i get smarter it just raises the bar more
im feeling really lonely, cause i don’t have a homie
just don’t have the time for anyone to really know me
feeling i’m wasting my life, cut myself with a knife
threw my phone to the wall, as i kept singing on

verse 3:
about to dial 1*800*273*8255
saying on the phone don’t wanna be alive
as i sit here and cry, and i’m wondering why
isn’t happiness a thing that everybody should have
pointed a gun to my head, about to shoot myself dead
i don’t feel any dread, am i already dead
it feels like i am at rest, just see birds in there nest
no longer sad or depressed or feeling really distressed

suddenly that all disappeared, as i see a woman standing in the mirror
telling me to stay, it’s fine for you to feel afraid
everybody in this world goes through the same pain
just gotta pick yourself up, and stop drowning in your shame
you just gotta change lanes, why you hanging in the shame
all that fame and fortune will await, until you awake
and then propose to me and tell me you’re a really happy man
chorus: x2
is suicide the only way, of throwing stress and pain away
or something that we think of when a couple things don’t go our way
just wanna smile all the time when no dark thoughts would come to mind
but right now i’m just frozen in time as i keep on weeping why

- wai liu lyrics

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