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the trouble with tribbles - voltaire lyrics

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i worked on a garbage skow near the neurtral zone and i’m sure you’ve heard, what occurs when a fella is alone

i was mighty lonely there till i met a man named jones and he sold me a m-ff, covered in fluff so i wouldn’t have to spank my bone.

get your self a tribble and then you’re good to go. if you’ve got enough quadrotriticale you’ll have an endless supply of hos.

i grabbed myself some vaseline and slathered up my pole but the trouble with these tribbles they’re fuzzy and they’re cute but i can never find the hole.

they’re fuzzy and they’re cute but i can never find the hole!

that mate there is scotty, he’s our chief engineer. and he’s never had a ho cause most don’t know he’s queer as vulcan beer!

i caught him with some tribbles i said ‘boy are you dumb? hear to my song, you’re doing it wrong’ he was shoving them up his b-m!

(chorus)

klingon captain koloth he’s mean as he is shrewd. and on sh-r- leave, he got us peeved because he’s very rude.

we beamed all of our tribbles to koloth and his crew but from the yells we couldn’t tell who was raping who!

bones says these critters are all pregnant when they’re born. i had just one now i’ve a thousand maybe more! i have so many now, i know just what to do ( i screwed this line up in the video!) i think i’ll start an interstellar heavy petting zoo!

i was on k7 when i saw mr. jones i gave him what for and said there’s more, i’ve come to pick a bone.

that tribble that you sold me, it had no hole to screw. “you dope,” he said, “you don’t screw them! you let those things screw you!”

so grab yourself a tribble and then you’re good to go.. if you have enough quadrotriticale you’ll have a dozen of them in your hole!

get your self some vaseline and slather up your rump. ’cause the nice things bout these tribes they’re fuzzy and they’re cute and you can put em in your b-m

so go back to your quarters and on your bunk you lay. you hope and pray that on our way we p-ss a bird of prey

tribbles hate the klingons they really make em go. they get irate and they vibrate up in your heiney hole!

so grab yourself a tribble and then you’re good to go. if you have enough quadrotriticale you’ll have a dozen of them in your hole!

get your self some vaseline and slather up your rump. the nice things bout these tribes they’re fuzzy and they’re cute and you can put em in your b-m.

- voltaire lyrics

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