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very, very, very - victoria clark lyrics

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[molly, spoken]
oh, you and your troubles. ha ha ha, ah. you and your taj mahal, your, your town house, your country house, your fabulous collection of modern paintings, and your thirty*nine million dollars in the corn exchange bank. i should have his troubles.

(sung)
one way to be very wealthy
is to be very, very, very rich
one can pile up mink and ermine
like a hermit accumulates vermin
if you occupy the proper financial niche

one way to be very happy
is to be very, very, very rich
there are kinds of human pleasures
that are not to be purchased with treasures
but i can’t remember exactly which

i’ve heard my gilded friends complain
there are troubles money cannot cure
but a trouble is a trouble is a trouble
and it’s twice the trouble
when a person is poor

in the carefree kingdom of the wealthy
you will never see an eyebrow twitch
it’s a minor peccadillo
to patronize the wrong pillow
when you’re very, very, very rich
sit down, my dear, i’ll have the soup on
as soon as i clip this coupon
last year i paid for the maid’s appendix
now she’s taken a job with bendix

it’s weeks since i heard a word of gossip
what’s the latest from jane and ossip?
she’s a girl that dozens are the beau of
she’s been faithful to him twice that i know of

d*mn uncle pierpoint! he left me a packet
and moved me into a higher bracket
since sally ran off with her obstetrician
her hair’s turned red and she looks like a titian
of course, i’d hate to swear in court
what kind of titian, beaut or mort?
have you paid your platina fur tax?
i am up to my neck in surtax!

one way to never spend a penny
is to be very, very, very rich
if you live along park avenue
you’ve dandy credit, haven’t you?
so why pay your grocery bills and sich?

in the dreamy nightlife of the wealthy
true love unwinds without a hitch
you just engage menuhin
to fiddle her to her ruin
when you’re very, very, very, very rich

- victoria clark lyrics

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