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2honest - vic mensa lyrics

[intro: mekke’l carter & vic mensa]
loneliness speaks through my smile
it sings the darkest lullaby
la, la*la*la, la*la, la
la, la*la*la, la*la, la
i called a 51*50 on myself
that’s how you know i need help
i called a 51*50 on myself
that’s how you know i need (help)

[verse 1: vic mensa]
tears of a fallen soldier, rollin’ down my face
one hand stickin’ out of my grave
the whole world left me for dead, michael jackson’s estate
but i’m too high, i never land
a river that knows its source could never run dry
that’s why i had to cut out the middle man
hate from all directions assassinatin’ my character
i felt like malcom x in j. edgar hoover’s america
i said the truth and i paid for it, i paid for it
i got on my knees and criеd to the lord, i prayed for it
i had bounties on my hеad when my sister was in my home
sleepless nights by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome
contemplatin’ self*destruction, equatin’ myself to nothin’
fixated on my regression, i felt like benjamin b*tton
i collapsed in my depression, i just couldn’t write for nothin’
when i stared at my reflection, all that i felt was disgusted
my confidence evaporated, less than a man, i was emasculated
i turned to violence to be validated
violated probation again and again
my kin and my friends like, “what the f*ck is up with you, fam?
don’t you understand? n*ggas wanna f*ck with you, fam
but you keep f*ckin’ yourself and that f*cks with your fans”

[chorus: saint jhn & mekke’l carter ]
pardon me, my n*gga, i believed the lie, i kept it too honest (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
the pain behind your eyes tells me that that’s not what you wanted (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
and it’s hard to explain to the people standin’ still why you’re runnin’ (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
i was runnin’ from the absolute savage that i know i’m becomin’

[post*chorus: vic mensa & mekke’l carter]
i called a 51*50 on myself
that’s how you know i need help
i called a 51*50 on myself
that’s how you know i need (help)

[verse 2: vic mensa]
do you know what the f*ck it feels like to wake up every day in distress?
p*ssed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess
and people depend on you, got so much sh*t on your chest
that your train of thought can’t seem to find a way to express
i find a notebook in my parents’ crib from when i was five
i went inside and said “i hate myself, i wanna die,” i cried
i couldn’t even fathom a child feeling so lonely
so next time a n*gga tell you ’bout vic, say they don’t know me
i need to be loved, i need to be loved
i needed the drugs ’cause i couldn’t do it
i couldn’t do it, i was goin’ through it
growin’ up, i was a product of my biracial confusion
neither black nor white, i guess that made me translucent
i crushed everything i touched
i f*cked every single sl*t, i couldn’t bust
it was a knot in my stomach
i plummet into my dungeon
down in the depths of my darkness
i’m steppin’ over my carcass
i’m comin’ out of my hatred
tired of my heart bein’ vacant
i made a promise, won’t break it
i told my mama, “we’ll make it”
i told my gang, “we gon’ make it”
they won’t give it to us, we’ll take it
one thing that is true is my greatness
promise i won’t doubt, i’ll believe it
i’m exercisin’ my demons, for the last time

[chorus: saint jhn & mekke’l carter]
pardon me, my n*gga, i believed the lie, i kept it too honest (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
the pain behind your eyes tells me that that’s not what you wanted (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
and it’s hard to explain to the people standin’ still why you’re runnin’ (ooh, ooh, ooh*ooh)
i was runnin’ from the absolute savage that i know i’m becomin’

[outro: saint jhn]
but pardon me, my n*gga, isn’t this the life you said that you wanted?
you know the car’s movin’ fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin’
and it’s hard when you’re comin’ from the bottom tryin’ not to become it
so i’m runnin’ from the absolute savage that i know i’m becomin’
comin’, yeah

- vic mensa lyrics

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