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between the point of no return & the tip of a bullet - vegas bill lyrics

intro:
absent minded
absent hearted

verse:
i spit blood
from my t**th
in the sink everyday
when it leaks
from my lips
or it’s drains
from a vein
i’m not safe from myself
but i play the hand dealt
like there’s nothing to loose
no noose so i tighten up the belt
till i feel something other than hate
i guess that’s how i was made t
to live my life of mistakes

and i can’t

tell me what i gotta do to get an answer from above
is it trust?
than i’m f*cked
i’ve lost so much i love
it almost seems like a joke i’m the punchline in this one
how can a man that gives all that he has to his family and friends die of pain in the end?
but a man who hurts the innocent and lives a f*cking life of sin
gets another day to breath and hurt somebody else again?
answer me that, and can you tell me where my brothers at?
heaven or h*ll?
cuz it’s a sin to hurt yourself
but the way he was made played a roll in his fate
and they say it’s your design but it just sounds like a game
3 men walked till 1 hung high
1 got sick before he died
the last one walks with the pain inside
cuz he couldn’t save his brother and his father that night
so alone i walk thru this darkness
constant sense of catharsis
all this sh*t left me heartless
i didn’t even cry when the last one left
bad thoughts, i’ve been getting them
asking somebody above just to save me
because lately i’ve been feeling like i’m imprisoned in my mind and this sh*t is getting crazy
i barely get any sleep function
each junction i hit is like a sunken place
this dungeon takes all that it needs
and spits me into empty sp*ce
at a frenzied pace
i keep dreaming of a house andi can’t get out
every door is open but every windows without light
and every room i go to, i see someone new
looking right thru me like i have a disguise
the temperature drops as they start to talk
they tell me i’ve failed and a life’s been lost
so do i blame myself for every time
that i feel this guiltiness inside
or do i blame the one who made me
the one who’s supposed to save me
the one who’s done everything to change me
break me down and then erase me
all the friends i had are dead and gone
at least to me they are
i didn’t come this far
to count on them for sh*t
they all turned and split
they can go and jump on somebody else’s d*ck
i put the gun in my mouth and pop it
i cut my wrists till i’m seeing light
i hurt myself because i feel it’s right
n0body cares if i live or die
so why should i?
the only girl that i loved ripped my heart right out of my f*cking chest
suppressed it down to a f*cking thread
then hung me with it till there was nothing left
i’m better off dead, happiness is a joke
all love is fake, there’s no where to go
there’s no where to hide i’m trapped in the smoke
neck deep in the water with no will to float
i linger between the point of no return and the edge of a cliff
hanging cuz of a b*tch
i hate myself and i’ll tell you this
never in my life have i felt more emptiness
this heaviness pushes my face to the dirt
i have so much hate for this f*cking world
we’re all going down let me drown in my thoughts
my world is lost
let that sh*t burn
they tell me that it’s gonna get worse before it gets better
but it’s been worse for years
and every fear that i have is knocking at the door
i’m not under the weather
b*tch i’m in the storm
getting tossed like a feather
a letter jammed in a shredder
all the pressure has severed my treasured life of endeavors
i don’t know why i try
it never helped me out ever
no better
no pleasure
no memories to remember
tell the devil to try harder cuz he hits like a b*tch
this life is already h*ll, it ain’t changing sh*t
i can’t get much lower and i ain’t going back up
i’m calling dr. sleep to come and make me numb
somebody wake me up, pull me out of this dream
i can’t remember a thing before 2018
my reality is never what it seems
it’s like deja vu with no self esteem
i didn’t wanna live past last night
i didn’t wanna wake to the sunlight
but another day i spend caught up in my mind
is how i plan on wasting all this f*cking time
this is my cry for help, i don’t want to be alone
a suicide note in the shape of a poem
composed enough to keep a smile walking
but the tip of that bullet is my only option

- vegas bill lyrics

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