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a song about my balls - vegan bassoon lyrics

[intro]
hey everyone
my name is vedhan
this is a song about my b*lls
one day, i woke up and my b*lls were gone
and this song highlights the hardships i had to go through to get them back
prepare yourself for a great story, with deep storytelling, diverse characters, plot twists, and a great soundtrack

[verse 1]
one day, my b*lls were gone. (they were!)
i checked in my pocket, but they were still gone. (they were!)
where did they go?
they’re not where they belong. (they’re not!)
the quest to retrieve my b*lls had begun. (true)

i ventured far and wide
to search for my sack. (he’s looking!)
i wish that they would show themselves and just come back. (facts!)
i need my b*lls, (i do!)
where did they go? (huh?)
the dragon stole them so into the dungeon i go. (the dragon!)

i traveled through a dungeon
battled demons and the fire, fire
i did it to save my b*lls
in a time that was dire, dire
i went into the deepest room
and there they were, to my dismay
my left and right ball, locked
and trapped inside a cage
[chorus]

i have to save my b*lls, (i do!)
but i don’t have the key. (i don’t!)
i have to save my b*lls, (my b*lls!)
where could the dragon be? (huh?)
i have to save my b*lls, (i do!)
but i don’t have the key. (i don’t!)
i have to save my b*lls, (i do!)
but where could the dragon be?

[verse 2]

ayy
the dragon swooped down with an evil laughter
his flames hit my shield as the cinders scatter
he says “if you must retrieve your b*lls
then you must best me in a brawl.”
i said, “i accept,” and i readied my sword
and i said, “he shall steal my b*lls no more!”
he slashed at me with a mighty swipe
his claws were as large and as sharp as a scythe

i dodged his lunge, as nimble as can be
and taunted him more as he swung at me
time went down and the dragon grew tired
the more that he slashed and he slung his fire
soon he leaves himself wide open
the more he fought with no rest
i siezed the chance to unsheath my blade
and then take a slash at his chest
[bridge]

he roars his last and he falls to the floor
as i shout, “you will steal my b*lls no more!”
he gives me the key and down he goes
dead on the ground, with both eyes closed
i get the key from out his mouth
and then i go to the cage to let my b*lls out
my b*lls are back after i show up
and then the weirdest thing happened: i woke up

[verse 3]

my mom bangs on the door with rage
i forgot that today was a d*mn monday
i didn’t set an alarm because i forgot
so my mom opens the door with her face distraught
i told her, “mom, i am very very sorry.”
she said, “go get up for school or you’re tardy.”
i was going to school, but before i went there
i checked my pants to see my b*lls still there!

now, every day i’m happy
that i still have my b*lls
‘cuz when i have my b*lls
i can do anything at all
nothing will stop me in life
never, no way
because my 1 and 2 b*lls
they always give me faith!
[chorus]

shoutout to my b*lls! (my b*lls!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (ayy!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (skrrt!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (my b*lls!)

shoutout to my b*lls! (left ball!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (right ball!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (b*llsack!)
shoutout to my b*lls! (my b*lls!)

my b*lls are the goat! (goat!)
my b*lls are the goats! (the goats!)
my b*lls are the goat! (facts!)
my b*lls are the goats! (my b*lls!)

my b*lls are the goat, ayy! (swag!)
my b*lls are the goat! (swag!)
my b*lls are the goat! (they’re goated!)
my b*lls are the goat! (goated!)

[outro]
thank you, everyone, for listening to my story
i hope i inspired you to have faith in things you typically wouldn’t. (my b*lls!)
this is an actual dream that i had, by the way
and it single*handedly changed my life
it inspired me to go get a job
go get a car
start paying my taxes
i became the ceo of, uhh, coca*cola
after i wrote this song
as i’m speaking right now, i’m the c*i became the ceo of coca*cola
i’m*i own rick and morty
i own, uhh, what’s it called, abc
i own all of them
i’m looking to buy netflix later
the company
swag
always have faith in your b*lls
vegan bassoon out

- vegan bassoon lyrics

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