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hell no 2 cell phones - vect lyrics

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22. h*ll no 2 cell phones

(bridge)
f*ck these things, all of them, don’t trust these things, all are d*mned

i’m cursing these verses, this piece of sh*t’s worthless
i’m about to field goal kick this f*cking thing, curses
they make the simplest things into something so hard
its bogus*ass battery all acting like it won’t charge
stop correcting me you smug asswipe, write it down
won’t let me like i’m fletcher & this is liar liar now
this endless sh*t, restrictions like censorship
f*ck this censor sh*t, send the message b*tch
technology is so faulty, it fries & i’m so salty
free wireless? ain’t no wi*fi. why the sh*t do i try?
i regret you like marriage, this thing is sure failin’
so dense, no sense like sarah palin, crashin’, derailin’

(chorus)
they keep tellin me “vect, get a cell phone.”
i snap back with my reply “f*ck that, h*ll no!”

i know it’s a phone d*mnit, but it’s pushing me dawg
this explains the nightmares i have about steve jobs
yes, real talk he chases me explaining models…..& i beg him to please shut up & stop
i’m screaming like chris farley, you idiot puke f*ck!!!!
anger issues, i blame this machine that’s worth 2 bucks
can’t even get a connection & pay all this $ for this?
i was in the middle of a voice mail, stupid thing keeps starting me over, rude b*tch
too much power in technology it’ll turn against us
any brilliant solutions when they take over? we’re then f*cked
f*ck a 3, 4, 5s… [lost signal] …abc down to the xzy’s
no, you can’t find me
running like dog sh*t, or not at all in a different vicinity
so, that “r” stands for r*t*rd, yeah, keep on bullsh*tting me
everyone’s heads up are their phones c*nts, jackassed slaves
chuck it @ the wall give it to my dog for a thrash toy, here maggie may
this son of a b*tch blacked out & yes, it’s charged
funny how they dare call them smart phones, they’re total ‘tards
upgrade, you think, but it’s more like downgrade
fragile cheap piece of cr*p, ain’t all that, how fake
(bridge)

these things fail conclusively
it is nothing new to me
t*mobile is so loco
these lies with verizon
dubious scammers in this business make it so defective
lies in every commercial, full of sh*t, like septics
it’s backwards because it won’t grant even a simple task
stop taking all our payphones you assh0l*s, give ’em back
a feeble product is what they are, these deals are like land mines
i’m done with this idiot nonsense, i’m gonna stick with a land line

(bridge)

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