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beautifully // depressing - vctms lyrics

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it’s been a long time since i’ve felt right
i’ve been dying to leave as i bleed on the inside
was there any weight in the words exchanged?
i’ll numb myself instead, let the cancer spread cause

you’ve sucked the feeling away
this chip on my shoulder something that i can’t shake
i promise i gave you everything
nothing more that i can give
nothing left for you to take

i’m tired of speaking with a ghost
that i kept too close, now i’m someone that i don’t even know

how did i become someone else

what did i ever do wrong
as i exposed all my flaws, you built up your wall
i was always at fault

my lungs gave out when i tried to explain
i walked on needles and pins and never mattered anyway
did you mean it? or was it to mess with my head
i’m drowning in the deep end of everything that you said
drag my knuckles till they bruise, spill my guts from the abuse
sounds of somber echoed through my room
i’m drowning in pathetic thoughts of you
despite the fact that you took everything
i don’t always wish things differently

i’m tired of speaking with a ghost
that i kept too close, now i’m someone that i don’t even know
the words you spoke only echoed a growing doubt
that submerged right into my brain
here i am a bird trapped in a cage

still a bird trapped in a cage

bittersweet, this loss is beautifully depressing
life is beautifully depressing

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