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a lost letter to elena - vanixest lyrics

i remember like it was yesterday
your purity and mine
the innocence of first love
your smile and touch calming my soul
the way we’d dance to our favorite songs
the countless love letters i’d wrote
a happiness to this day unmatched
tainted by the hands of another
the calming of my soul becoming rage
your smile a reminder of broken dreams
the thought of you pushing me to suicide often
the failure through years to replace you
never healing from your betrayal damaging my soul
now i ask myself
has the unresolved pain you inflicted caused me to be worse than you ever were?
have i become what i fought so hard to protect others from?
whatever the answer may be i know when i die i’ll be alone
no friends, no love, no family
cause i can’t trust
and to answer your question
in a f*cked up
in a very very f*cked up way
i still love you

- vanixest lyrics

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