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repent - valeriey lyrics

[verse 1]
people looking at me wild
cause god been quiet through me
ain’t you that boy who preached so loud
and made that holy music?
and i can see the reason why
you see the blessings truly
my parents came into this country
only tz fluent
they built an army up, they taught us all
we copied
still surprised my sister done
survived that kawasaki
still surprised she smiling
all in all, that woulda scarred me
i guess i thank my auntie, all god’s promises she taught me
if we had stresses
vent to god’s ear
if we want santa clause to come early
then god was here
if we had beef amongst each other
pastor taught me love my brothers
so we’d talk it out, put fists aside
whom shall we fear
but i had questions growing up
and i had things that i would love
but i was taught them sh*ts were demon sp*wns
folks was mad, delete my drawings
but i never minded it
as long as i despised the sin
i knew that god would take me in
i knew my pops would take me in
[chorus: valeriey & qui bonita]
i feel so numb in my head
maybe that’s all for the best
no sh*t i’m stuck in the past
knees bent, just fear on my lap
i feel so numb in my head
maybe that’s all for the best
no sh*t i’m stuck in the past
knees bent, just fear on my lap

[verse 2]
middle school came
my dubious ways
had got me questioning myself
that white boy in my grade
became my first official sign
that i’m not okay
i talked to my youth pastor, was after
i realized i’m
well, he told me it’s the gates or the fire
no in between, so i spent days tryna see if i’d acquire epiphanies, but all i got was “if my son was a f*ggot, nah my son ain’t no f*ggot. i raised him too well to see him in h*ll”
n*ggas never no had to time examine they self
pose a certain way, the church will frame you, the verses they’d yell
thinking that they helping
but inside you feel lesser than thou
now you scared to move, you dancing to the raise of a brow
still remember
when i came out to you
first time that i seen you cry
now every time you try to mend it
feel like it’s a guise
to try and pry into my mind
and slip in new agendas
it’s personal, but you trying so hard
and i commend ya
[chorus: valeriey & qui bonita]
i feel so numb in my head
maybe that’s all for the best
no sh*t i’m stuck in the past
knees bent, just fear on my lap
i feel so numb in my head
maybe that’s all for the best
no sh*t i’m stuck in the past
knees bent, just fear on my lap

[verse 3]
i love you guys too much
i guess that’s why i be too scared
to let go
or just too scared to come close
i’m either two feet away
or two years distant, i know
i tried convincing myself
that either one came from growth
i’ve seen too many ideas
that my brain associates with hope
because i’m scared to die and maybe
a heaven could help me cope
letting go of that philosophy was hard for me
harboring all this pain, because if i ain’t got heaven, whats there to gain
maybe that’s the root
of my attachment issues with many
i be scared to hang up telephone calls
because what if anything was to happen once i end it
had hope i’d see him call again
died a fews days after talking about accomplishments
tell me that he made he made it somewhere safe, or that he hit them pearly gates, you taught me otherwise, i’m scared he didn’t make it there
now you tryna tell me he gave us hope and a future
what if zay just had some questions, what the h*ll does that mean to ya
man i swear i love you guys too much
i don’t care if you love me back
what’s the point of a heaven
if my n*ggas ain’t there to party
what’s the point of my life
if n*ggas interpret it ungodly
and i love you guys for that
cause we been through all this sh*t
i know n*ggas who’s g*niuses
ain’t no need for scholarships
i know n*ggas who there for me
even when the family feuds
i know n*ggas who there for me
even when i lose my cool
so i got my drive to live
we all got torches to hold
we ain’t got no time to waste time
cause n*gga we getting old
in the little time we have
maybe we could grow apart
maybe one of us is next
and we can’t repair the scars
but imma try to live like
it was 2021
i was babyfaced and all
y’all was hectic on my them calls but
it was all of us, and anything could happen anytime from now
but i guess all i can do is pray we stay, if time allows
[outro: valeriey & qui bonita]
i pray
i pray
i pray
numb in my head
all for the best
fear on my lap

- valeriey lyrics

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