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perpetual panic attack - vacant territory lyrics

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[verse]
hey i thought i’d tell you that i’m fine
it’s not really true i’m just hanging on a line*
trying really hard right now not to cry
drowning in the words of these songs tonight

i don’t know what i’m doing
i can’t handle myself with some sh*t
everything’s my fault when i think about it
but no matter what comes next i know
that i deserve it
i always deserve it

[interlude]
i don’t deserve sh*t
as bad as the worst gets
i shouldn’t have happiness
as bad as the worst gets

[verse]
convince myself i’m alone
i’m crazy enough to make up problems that never existed
but maybe it’s because i’m scared that they once did
pressuring myself to live up to something i’m not
wasting their time until they are all gone
rationality takes a backseat
to a waterboarding session with my personality
[interlude]
i don’t deserve sh*t
as bad as the worst gets
i shouldn’t have happiness
as bad as the worst gets

[outro]
i’m having a panic attack
maybe it’ll make you hate me
because i’m not perfect
and i’m not the best that i know i can be

my heart can’t take it all back
so i know what follows the ending
my confidence is descending
please know that i’m constantly mending

i’m mending
i want to get my ending
i’m mending
i want the ending

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