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ea knows best (reprise) - /v/ the musical lyrics

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[consumer (spoken)]
i think valve likes me

[ea (spoken)]
likes you? please, consumer, that’s demented

[consumer]
but ea i-

[ea]
this is why you never should have left!
goy, this whole crusade that you’ve invented
just proves you’re too ent-tled to be here
why would they be benevolent? come on now – really!
look at you – you homely and depressed
don’t be a dummy
give me your money
ea-

[consumer (spoken)]
no!

[ea]
no?! oh. i see how it is

consumer knows best
drm seems so great now
when it has sales, and friend lists!
consumer knows best!
buy your silly hats now
go ahead, then give them this!

[ea throws wallet at consumer]

[consumer (spoken)]
how did you–?

this is why he’s here!
the sales have deceived you!
give it to them, watch, you’ll see!

[consumer (spoken)]
i already have!

trust me, my dear
that’s how fast they’ll screw you
i won’t say i told you so – no
consumer knows best!
so if valve really loves you
how much cash do you have left?!

come back to origin
you hopeless virgin
mother knows best…

- v the musical lyrics

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