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intro skit (turbulence) - upchurch lyrics

[skit]
(ladies and gentlemen can i have your attention please as we go through the following safety instructions)
n0body likes me, that’s okay
’cause i’m * oh, god, ughh, who the f*ck is this?
ughh h*llo
oh nice, a record label, darn, i’m so f*ckin’ excited
who is this?
didn’t i already tell y’all no when i was like twenty*three years old?
what, do you think it’s gonna change now that i’ve gotten bigger?
no, there’s nothin’ you can offer me, i’m sorry
please don’t call me anymore you’ll make this f*ckin’ plane wreck assh0l*, you’re supposed to be doin’
sir, sir, sir i’m gonna need you to get off your phone
it’s goin’ airplane mode right now, god d*mn
alright thank you, i appreciate it
and i’m finna go airplane too
ha, ha, ha is this level too f*ckin’ high mother f*cker
jeeze, shut up
you’ve been playin’ your rap music the whole time on the plane
shut up motherf*cker, you wanna fight when this b*tch lands?
jesus i’m never pickin’ this airliner ever again
i’ma beat you motherf*ckers up when we get off this plane
is that a threat?
yes
(we’ve been cleared for departure)

- upchurch lyrics

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