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tinder only finds me fat chicks - tzarbombah lyrics

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i downloaded this app called tinder
in hopes that it’s gonna get me laid
i swiped right on every single person
in attempts to save some time for myself

my phone buzzes, i got a bunch of matches
oh man, i’m so excited to see
what’s on the menu for a pervert like me
but man, i’m disappointed

why does every girl on this app
that’s over 300 pounds like me
i don’t get the f*cking deal

none of the normal girls
want to swipe right on me
so i guess i’m gonna try this all again

the next day, i did it all again
with the burning ambition of getting some leg
my f*ckin’ phone has a stroke and a seizure
at the same d*mn time, it’s going insane

i get nervous, i’m scared to even look
at the list of h*rny people that’s staring at me
i take a look, my manhood is shattered
parades fo fat women are fl!cking their bean
why does every girl on this app
that’s over 300 pounds like me
i can’t believe this real

none of the normal girls
want to have s*x with me
so i guess i have to settle with a man

- tzarbombah lyrics

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