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the ballad of blind bob - tyler dettloff lyrics

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blind bob quinn was a man who couldn’t sin
out all night drunk ‘n rilled, hooting’ hollering
gettin wild. i bet one day he’ll go

up to heaven and cut a rug for us all
his foot-fall thunder’ll make you roll
get back up, don’t you fall down flat
blind bob jives with a cane and a hat
he’ll knock you down just to pick you back on up

just to knock you down again ‘n call you a friend
‘n say, “you looking mighty ugly these days,”
but he loves ya smile, can’t get enough
every cig he smoked is a stolen puff
that blind bob quinn got the blues

i’ll tell ya a story about blind bob’s soul
the lost-and-found of the soo folklore
he lost it way back before he knew he had it
to a parkin’ lot pirate on a tricycle
when he gambled away sault. ste. marie

that town with the locks, speckled ‘n chicken-pocked
ore-frieght industry ticked the tock
that ain’t steam it’s coal fumes
as a child bob cursed the plumes
he wished that town would burn

so he read the books and he learnt the words
talked ’bout traveling like a mocking bird
never had no whip, no wheels to spin
he always hitched rides from the trouble he in
never got caught, but that sh-t got old

so he walked down to the co-op grocery store
where a pirate on a tricycle out the door said
“i bet you think you know what real trouble is, boy.”
but blind bob, man, he ain’t no fool

bob said, “you sure are right, i know how to lose a fight
but i always win at this gamblin thing. so, if i guess
what’s under that eye-patch, old man
you gotta buy my way

‘cross the country with this here guitar
all i wanna do is travel far. an if i lose
i’ll give ya my soul, old man
i’ll even throw in my clean record, too.”

well the parkin lot pirate thought it musta been a joke
he leaned right back ‘n drew a long toke
‘n said, “if you guess what’s ‘neath my eye-patch, boy
i’ll lay a curse on all this land

that when you play your guitar wherever you are
folks’ll drop money down on the floor
you won’t go hungry but you might get blue
if you’re wrong, i get your soul
and clean record, too.”

the bet was fit ‘n they both was smitten
the devil never been this north of the mitten
the pirate grewed h-rns ‘n got out his pitch fork
a crowd had gathered to see it all happen
bob had till the freighter p-ssed to place his guess

the fudgies all watched the boat go by
townsfolk looked at bob ‘n cried
no one ever knew what’s under
the devil’s old eye-patch
so, blind bob was sure to lose

but he’d hear this story before in a book
‘n he recognized the devil’s stanky look
he said, “i know what’s under your
greasy ol’ eye-patch:
the stink-sack of a skunk

that’s why your eyes burn when you laugh so loud
and you stink so bad you can never keep a crowd
you a bad boweevil, you always been evil
but i lock the lakes and i shake the gates
i got six bullets and they’re all for you
rock ‘n roll, motherf-cker

the devil hung his head away in his hands
blind bob exposed all his plans
he channeled the smokestacks ‘n cursed the lands
lightnin struck ‘n the world shut up
he said, “blind bob, go, man. play

wherever you will, just don’t sit still
play your guitar to empty a till
keep your soul ‘n clean record, too
i don’t need ’em anyway.”
the townsfolk all hoorayed

finally, bob could lit outta town
no one wanted to see his face around
all the nasty jokses ‘n no-good hoaxes
left town with bob

and that’s how sault ste. marie lost it’s charm

- tyler dettloff lyrics

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