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interrogation song - ty burrell lyrics

sam: kermit, let’s begin
describe the day you played berlin
constantine: we rehe-rs-d and then we walked about
we ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
ty: that night, at 10:03
were you inside the portrait gallery
c: from 10 oclock to 10:04
is when we played the shows encore
s: hm, frog, we’ve got our doubts
can you confirm your whereabouts?
c: my alibi is water tight
the audience saw me sing all night
t: monsieur, we know you did the crime
c: i was on stage that whole time
ask who sang rainbow connection
t&s: thank you, kermit
no more questions
t: allo, i think it’s time for good cop romantic cop
miss piggy, you cleaned up locked inside
and now’s your chance to save your hide
miss piggy: gentlemen, i did not know
it’s a crime to steal the show
s: tell us how the art was taken
t: if you want to save your bacon
mp: i haven’t seen your missing art
all i’ve stolen was audience hearts
s: we can give you a plea deal
t: all you have to do is squeal
mp: i’m not a thief i don’t know how
all i’ve ever taken is a bow
t: we’ll catch the swine who did this job
mp: give up the pig puns creep
go jump in a lake that’s my suggestion
t&s: thank you piggy no more questions
t: i think she liked me
s: i don’t think your puns are helping the investigation
t: you know…
i think they did it
s: no they didn’t
t: yes they did and we can pin it
s: if they did how did they do it?
t: if they didn’t how didn’t they didn’t?
s: if they didn’t then it’s easy ‘cuz they simply didn’t do it
t: if they did it then i knew it but we’ve nothing that can prove it
excuse me
bring in the purple guy with the schnoz
s: do you remember what you did
on the night you played mardid
gonzo: i was hit by a raging bull
and rushed off stage to the hospital
t: gonzo, what do you know
about the sculpture theft at madrid’s prado
g: i never saw the stolen bust
i spent the night in bed concussed
s: the truth, gonzo, the clock is tickin’
g: if you don’t believe me, ask the chicken
camilla was there she’ll cooperate
t: madame are you willing to corroborate
-chicken clucks-
s: will somebody get this chicken out of here
g: calm down, camilla, it’s a routine inspection
t&s: thank you gonzo, no more questions
t: let’s go from the start
what do you know about the stolen art
lew: i didn’t know there was a plan
dr. t–th: your accusations far out man
honewdew: the chances of us commiting a crime
are less than point 009
swedish chef: -gibberish-
t: to help with our investigation
can you do a full translation
– what the chef just said to you
was shnoopdy shnoopdy shnoo it’s not swedish
animal grunts and laughs
penguins cluck
fozzy: uh i can do an elvis impression
t&s: thank you, muppets, no more questions
t: they didn’t
s: no they didn’t
t: there’s no way they did the crime
s: they couldn’t, they’re too stupid
t: they’re not criminal master minds
s: we do not know who did it
but we know who didn’t do it
t&s: so we know who didn’t do it
yes we know who didn’t do it~
t: they are incapable of being culpable

- ty burrell lyrics

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