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as much as i forget - twinkle park lyrics

i know it stresses you out, sorry for that

i’m beginning to crave new catharsis
‘cus writing songs is getting old
i’ll start creating my own problems
and setting fire to my clothes
and when that gets old like it always does
maybe i’ll find new friends to hate
i can unfairly compare them to old ones
and never let myself forgive

the stars are so pretty tonight
i prayed you’d say they look a bit like me
i heard you quit
i know things are changing

when did i become so tiresome to be around?
swear i used to have more hopeful things to say
but i’m at a low point, i’m not gonna lie
my brain feels so poisoned even though so much is right

i never dreamt my skin would be this underwhelming to sit in
for all the work i did to make my bones a home they barely fit
trauma fixations convince me it’s not depression, it’s f*cking grief
‘cus i feel a whole lot. i feel far too much of this
doctor (unintelligible) knows these thoughts are draining me
but sometimes despair feels so comfortable, so right
i don’t think i want it to, but i can’t tell anymore

i always feel like such a man
when i can only see things so logically
is that a f*cked up thing to feel?
it’s hard to believe you, it’s hard to believe in you
like h*ll i wish i was idly watching my lungs deteriorate
the air is fine and i’ve got a long way to ride this out ’til the end
i was never a crier, but none of you seem to mind
and it’s nice to know i’ll always be the sister you all found
thank you all for reminding me of my worth

i know it stresses you out, sorry for that
broken light in the city, we’re running through a summer day
for every day that i have spent
on learning to grow from my mistakes
now letting go gets easier
at least we’re alone now, all of us
i will stop wishing for my death at every sign of discontent
through every smile and every tear that went over my head
give myself time, and some more credit
for every day i wake up sad and still get out of bed
i will get out of bed

- twinkle park lyrics

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