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dishonest & give you truth - tsukiyomi lyrics

“dishonest”

[intro]

“hi, this is nikki leave a message.”

i don’t mean to be dishonest ooh
i don’t mean to be dishonest vavy ooh [honest vavy]
i don’t mean to be dishonest [honest] whoa
i don’t mean to be dishonest vavy

hook:

i don’t mean to be dishonest
i need your honesty
i don’t mean to be dishonest [honest]
i need your loyalty
i don’t mean to be dishonest vavy
these secrets that i keep, they do no good for me
i need your honesty

verse 1:

aww vavy
i wasn’t thinking this far along
i wasn’t thinking about all that, i was just l-sting and involved
and i did you wrong yea, but vavy you had did me wrong
you kept telling me that there was more than this that i could be
and i was telling you that there’s nothing more to me i can see
you said stop that, baby, boohoo
cry for me like jodeci and i will tantalize you
open up like blossoms bloom and i will birth the skies blue [disguise you]
you will be my boy toy in your prime ooh
–
purple hues and mahogany highlights
she only wants to f-ck when the times right
she only give it up for the one night
f-ck from the dusk to the sunrise
oooh l-st in the sunshine
she never want a break from alone time
cause they won’t care for her privacy like i do, i do

hook repeat:

verse 2:

honest, honest
don’t want to be dishonest vavy
just want to be your boy toy, plaything
don’t want to stop this love we’re making
scratches down my back and hickies up yours
f-ck from shower, counter, bed, and now floor
oh who goes there, don’t open that door
you ‘bout to see us f-cking aw
you ‘bout to see us f-cking, loving, touching, sucking, licking, rubbing
screaming, gasping, moaning, sweating, asking questions s-xual
“ooh ugh yea ah”
how you like that
“mmh aaah”
can you bite back
“hsssss oooogh”
put it right there
scream for climax, relax, explode
–
curl your toes
irrational
grasp and hold
relax explode
open soul
intergalactic
peak for me
that’s all that i’m asking
find your mind
lose control

“give you truth”

verse 3:

going illegal speeds i’m back and forth down chenal
i used to whip it through markham, but traffic lights are too long
you sit at your grandma home, i’m sorry i didn’t call
apology not accepted, but we still f-ck in the morn
know you deal with depression, and i’m out dealing with drugs
you stressing over your blessings, i’m blessing you in the tub
say you got a confession, you hate the n-gg-s i love
i love how you get defensive when both of us in the wrong

every time we argue i end up writing a song
you say you getting neglected when really i’m in my zone
you can not wait to hear every musical piece i wrote
cooked the beat up myself, then ate that b-tch on my own
like p-ssy fresh out the panties that i cheffed up on the stove
vavy you’d hate me more if you had heard of it all
portray you as a wh-r- in every fabric of cloth
that’s fake of me i’m at fault cause you the one buy my clothes

had problems with my car you got it fixed on your own
went stripping at the club to pay the sh-t that i won’t
found a woman who does, cause she had did what i don’t
this in no specific order you know how the story goes
chronological obstacle f-cking up over hoes
i went out to do more cause you was doing the most
more than the average bear that’ll roam around in the forest
you hit it off with drea that jealousy was euphoric
that month i made an alb-m and no one would even know it

(are you drunk right now?)

started writing poetry more and didn’t know i was stoic
‘til poetry looked at me and said you in pain and you know it
it looked me in the eye, this was her real confession
it’s not that i hate your friends or that i’m ungrateful for blessings
it’s another family calling and for them i been undressing
a woman who named andrea her husband who go by derek or derryl
i can’t remember

(are you high right now?)

this sh-t happened in december or somewhere ‘round in the winter
you was out here getting f-cked by a b-tch as her new contender
you said they had made it known they was out there picking up strippers
while they had someone at home in the house watching their children

i was in the studio trying to make me a living, while you living out your fantasies pleasing some other n-gg-s
his d-ck was on your back, while he gave you that m-ssage and you told me you didn’t want it, but maybe that’s a mirage or better yet a facade cause i done lived through it all
they had you all out your drawls
they was touching on your soul and you was touching ‘em raw
raw as my emotions when i come give ‘em to y’all
i’m thankful for my fans if not for ya’ll i’d be gone
ya’ll give me a bigger purpose i try to not die for y’all

don’t mean to misrepresent yes nikki you did me wrong
but if that’s the game we playing then i’m about to play ball
cause every little lady who wanted me in her drawls got exactly what they asked and should’ve gotten it raw
no need for applause from n-gg-s or none of ya’ll
don’t address me as jamal i’m not raw d-gg-ng ’em all
wanted ya’ll to understand this is not the way to go it was simply a misdecision and how i knew to cope
other than cooling with christian and snorting c-ke
or irritating julien he was fighting parole
this was a situation where i lost all my control and dammit if i had had it i wouldn’t have let it go

see i was f-cking hannah that was fresh after the break up
like it would make it better, but we somehow kissed and made up
like some middle schooler children trying to fabricate love
or figure what particle human intuition made of
i was going back and forth to her for ‘bout a straight month
thinking if everything fell apart that she would stay up
just a misconception for how late at night we stayed up
and though we were never together something felt like a break up

i’m sure ariana had happened right before hannah
or somewhere shortly after i’m sorry i can’t remember
but she wasn’t that important cause she was 20, a virgin
and right when she saw my d-ck was afraid this f-cker would hurt her
yea i gave her hickies and finger f-cked her for burner
these hoes come and go so i bought that b-tch and returned her
she was really into sipping wine and watching movies, probably never heard my music
i wouldn’t call her a groupie
she wasn’t trying to use you to get me on the two piece
she genuine, curious to know if p-ssy soothing

i’m just trying to clear the air, you shouldn’t hate me for losing
cause it’s difficult to breath when the oxygen get confusing
need you to see the bigger picture as if it’s a movie
after this then “on” is where the f-ck we are moving
i’m tired of trying to fight you or lie about sh-t i’m doing
was afraid that you would leave me if the truth was never truant
but nikki i’m not a coward if you gone leave me then do it

i’m no stranger to pain
remember when i hurt you and we had kissed in the rain
its hurting for me to speak on this knowing i’m ashamed
but vavy who’s to blame

(why are you telling me this?)

i still apologize i can’t remember what the timing was
or who she was to you, we met when i had worked at hollister
she love my hair and by that i guess you guess adrianna
cause, she had worked in the salon right next to the department store
she told me she hate my energy
now she f-cking the enemy
but that sh-t over really she more of a distant friend to me
had her c-mming infinity more than i ever did for you
you always told me that you had difficulty with imagery

so i imagined myself f-cking someone who was getting me
but there was no longevity
she was catching feelings, while i was catching the realness of cheating a little more than a little at the beginning
felt disgusted with myself, cause i’m addicted to women, and d-cking ‘em down viciously
like maybe i should quit, maybe i should go home
maybe i should go, to the woman who love me most
but if she love me, why hurt me the way she did so before
was it cause when i’m late to the dinner i never called
was it cause when she on her way over i sleep it off
or miss every single date cause i’m working late on a song
and be tired in the morn forgot to pick up the phone
called me a bunch of times when she was there at the door
had to waste the gas on getting her -ss home
cause the n-gg- that she wanted was p-ssed out on the floor
wouldn’t be back alive till 3 a.m. in the morn
now she slitting her wrist thinking that he don’t love her
she just a piece of sh-t
he is just like his brothers and she don’t want none of this
and now i’m rushing over at bout a quarter to 6
trying to pick up the pieces i’m cutting myself to fix
it could be better weather if it wasn’t for my d-ck

kam started recording me
surveying the store she was adoring me
i figured i could f-ck she not ignoring me
so why p-ss it up? my b-tch is being difficult she boring me
now i’m using women, the poison i’m too far in it
the blacker the berry the sweeter the death of the victim
i was convinced that i reach player status f-cking these b-tches
when i had vip’d the influence and saw all them in it
solo was performing i stayed for his little performance and noticed that all of usa standing up in the corner
yea i had f-cked america, that was a mistake on my judgement i wasn’t hearing or maybe i was and just wasn’t hearing it clear enough
she a bit awkward, went through a breakup, then told me to off her, she offered p-ssy out the dm on an off day. foreplay listening to music while i’m rubbing on her soft face
told her i couldn’t f-ck tho
i wasn’t feeling it i could feel she was still in love yo
d-ck wasn’t even twitching at thoughts of getting up hoes
then she made me do it cause she was feeling influenced
we had smoked the gr-ss her -ss started to moving
playing with her p-ssy and letting me know to do it
then afterwards we both knew we were stupid

(are there anymore after this?)

are there anymore after this, more after this?
the furthest me and alyssa ever shared was a kiss
that’s when i had thought that she was truly loyal sh-t
but even now i know that i could never trust a b-tch
nikki you don’t trust me
i don’t trust myself
i know it won’t be easy to see you with someone else
but maybe in another universe up on the shelf
you and i are f-cking perfect and we live in perfect health
with a kid on the way and another in the yard
with over 20 million dollars and 5 car garage
eating some good food and watching some cartoons
and i’m smoking and you can’t cause you pregnant with my dude
a little n-gg- i’ll love ’till death play me my tune
and soon we’ll see our kids go on and graduate from school

(are there anymore after her?)

are there anymore after her, more after her?
the furthest me and cheyenne ever shared was a hug
a couple tears forth and back about the one we love
a tab of the lsd some xanax and then a blunt
her n-gg- full of jealousy thought i was trying to f-ck
i had to hit him up “brenden what the f-ck you on?”
she sitting in my room crying about you
and i’m crying to her ‘bout my woman at home
i learned from america having s-x wasn’t curing it
venting my emotions felt better than getting off
not to be of less cl-ss, cheyenne ain’t have an -ss
if the rim ain’t got a net then i ain’t tryna play ball
with no backboard i won’t shoot it at all, you make the call

so think about what’s happening given the situation
eventually on my own i had learned what my mistake was
my friend was a woman i damaged right before the break up
to keep it real n-gg-s right now i’m feeling like a fake one
i wasn’t s’posed to leave her no breathing a million scars
with insecurity peering anxiety in her heart
i remember she was cheesin’ her smile a new work of art
now when i make her smile it’s kinda falling apart

she went and dyed her hair, i barely like it all
she had to go and evolve cause i was k!lling her off
she don’t really change, just the tone of her call
i can hear uncertainty soon as she go to talk
the confidence she had when i met her not in her walk
used to play other n-gg-s while wishing a n-gg- would
now when she go to play it remote control is no good

and i hate some sh-t that is no good
maybe i did you wrong cause vavy you didn’t focus
maybe you correct ’bout my newer lack of emotions
maybe you k!lled me and the ghost of me had to haunt you
either way i know that this a feeling i don’t want yea
but nikki i still want you

[outro]

ooh na na na na na
look how you’ve hurt me now
you’ve let the sun go down
the moon lights what i’ve found
in exile
exhaustion through exile
you’re so exhausted now
i need your s-x your sounds

ooh na na na na na
look how you’ve hurt me now
you’ve let the sun go down
the moonlight’s what i’ve found
in exile
exhaustion through exile
you’re so exhausted now
girl you’re exhausted now

- tsukiyomi lyrics

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