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all on my own - trebor lyrics

intro:

all on my own
my own

verse 1:

all my emotions are closed in
i kept them all locked up, all frozen
it’s what i was told when i was ten
they say it’s not right, but how can that be?
my body tells me to just let loose and grieve
it’s natural, the eye shed, the tears, all the droplets
i grew up, i learned all this all on my own, my own
drowning your demons with your river flow
no sign of weakness, it’s just how it goes
the shedding of tears, it just comes from the soul
verse 2:

see, my dad is a man’s man
no fan of toxic masculinity
but i feel that was his idеntity, especially since hе
had 2 daughters, came one son
was the opposite of everything he loved
tried to mold me into something i’m not
emotions, i learned all on my own, my own
shutting it down on the spot
the phrase “man up” essentially means to be a robot
heard that a lot, was just pushed
sh*t like man up, don’t be wuss
you’re a f*cking baby, don’t be a b*tch
go and cry again, and that ass is hit
wasn’t pulling tantrums, was just upset
that i had to be around this f*cking man
shut down my hobbies, constant disrespecting
and he wonder why i feel so disconnected
dreaded going every other weekend
always ready to just go and leave him
talking to him was like talking to stone
had to be myself all on my own, my own
everything was a joke til you stepped on his toes
anger management was not in control
then he’d act like a big f*cking baby
sh*t is sad when he’s just going crazy
show emotion when you’re getting angry
anything else, no, was just not manly
verse 3:

losing emotions means losing yourself
closing it off turns your back on your health
when you were young, you were just taught something else
i can not change you, i learned all of this all on my own, my own
i understand that none of us are real perfect
wearing some masks to disguise all the hurtin’
inside is dark so just open the curtains

verse 4:

it goes for so many things
playing with a barbie when i just 3
these other boys can just hardly believe
playing this plastic instead their action figure
actually gets some parents triggered
being a man isn’t what you consume
or be an emotionless dude
which i had to learn all on my own, my own
and i hope fathers show
that it’s okay to show more than just anger
so they won’t feel a stranger
no place where they feel like it’s made up
cold days if emotions are chained up
this sh*t took me 23 years
now i have no fear to shed some tears

- trebor lyrics

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