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how can i tell? - toxic mutation lyrics

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through all the love, and happiness, i still feel like i’m in h-ll
you say you love me, but really how can i tell?
i know the deep dark secrets behind your pretty smile
i cried when you said you wanted to take a break for awhile

you’re beautiful, you’re kind, don’t cry, you’re perfect
don’t listen to them darling, believe me you’re worth it
and i know there will be times where you don’t believe me
i wish i was there so you could f-cking see me

crying, lying, dying of pain
people trying to get paid, while i’m still trying to stay sane
and darling, i wish i could explain how i feel
because the way my mind is shouldn’t f-cking be real

i want to talk, but there’s n0body left
it’s hard to forget my last suicide attempt
it’s that simple, so easy to lose it all
i will one day, but until then i stall

put me through h-ll
how can i tell?
if you love me anymore
i wish it was like before

we’re going to get married! i have so much in plan!
but of course someone had to leave me again…
i love you, i loved you, i really did
i’ll just fake my smile so i can stay for awhile

no one to love me, sitting here all alone
pretty soon i’ll put my life on postpone
i want to go back to the way things were before
why am i alive? what am i here for?

i tried so bad, just to get a kiss
i know if i died, i would not be missed
well i guess goodbye, to my ex future wife
you put me through so much pain, you make me want to end my life

why did you start this is if it would end just being h-ll?
i don’t know if you know but it should be easy to tell
maybe you don’t love me, you hate me perhaps
i’m on the verge, i’m about to relapse

how can i tell?
when you’ll put me through h-ll
you used to want to steal me
now why don’t you just k!ll me?

i know it’s been hard, they’re getting to your head
the cuts on your arm, and your body you’ve misfed
peel off a scab, get another blister
i’m for your mind, and i’m sorry for your sister

sometimes i wish the problems would go away, but i don’t act right
the pain gets so strong, i question if i should turn off the light
but i have a girlfriend, and i have friends that love me
i wish they wouldn’t experience the pain coming from me

but sometimes we have to let the sorrow in
so we don’t let the pain of tomorrow in
i fail in school because i can’t concentrate
the more i think, the more i complicate

my life didn’t turn out as planned
maybe i should try to overdose again?
but i need to believe that things will get better
hopefully none of this truly lasts forever…

- toxic mutation lyrics

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