control - tooth & claw (baltimore) lyrics
don’t hold this on higher ground against me. i was unclear and repetitious in my labor of love. work upon work and death upon death, but it was not the words i chose carefully to retrace negative steps. not the payments i have made, nor the regrets in my debt, but what i have carried for years in hopes of reversing. take this abuse and run from the packs i have so painstakingly attempted to separate myself from. i am unlike those who i am alike. so refuse this abuse, for i am of the same code and color, just like the rest of them. i can’t find the lines we drew together in ground gained by failure. now that my wanderl*st has faded and your patience has grown thin, i’ll return to the place we started only to find you’ve left again. in the fear of losing you forever, i’ll repent for all my sins; to a god i don’t believe in, to a world that has abandoned. i’ve lost memory of most things, but i remember when we boarded up the house. the sounds of the walls, the wounds underneath. i built this place for you. a family and a home. i can hear your laughter in the hallways, your warmth on my hands, but i must remind myself that you are gone. the burdens have grown heavy and there is only one choice left to make. so my foolish heart will sacrifice to live without this mistake. heat will find its way through every crack in the foundation so just flood the floors instead (i will tie myself to the center). never accept the tribute. never observe the punishment. i am nothing. just like you promised. i lost everything when i went to war with the world. a life for a life. it’s useless to rebuild. cycle through and tear everything down. end this
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