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letters - too many birthdays lyrics

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it’s 2033
ze’s growing inside of me
and i am shaking on the floor
i feel 12 again

it’s 2056
there’s a little canyon near my house
i get flashes, like i’ll die there, i’m just not sure when
i go out everyday it’s like a test

ze is out to school
carrie’s on her book tour
i forget what year it is
but today, i trust myself

it’s 2017
we have acres to ourselves
they said, “that sounds peaceful”
i guess that’s where it started, that big empty
calling, like a warning, but only for my ears

it’s rising tides all year
now my doomsdaze are in fashion
still if tsunami’s roar
they writhe, like a fist, onto my doorstep

morbid curiosity
once convinced you i was s-xy
now my compulsions aren’t sweet
they’re frightening

i’ve been receiving letters
from myself, i think, though she seems more still
she says i’ve ran it over in my head a thousand times
and it’s more than just a contract, with your loved ones, a summoning of will

i’ve been pouring over letters
from myself, with lines composed slowly
peaceful, but foreign, and i wonder, does she look like me?
nauseous, tracing letters, grating pencils, in a final plea

i’ve been living through your letters
(i was looking for your signature it made me feel ok)
i’ve been living through your letters
(i was breaking down in bathroom stalls and clawing at my face)
i’ve been living through your letters
(and, of course, the bird sanctuary is closed today)

- too many birthdays lyrics

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