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osama bin laden vs where's waldo | epic rap battles of my ass - tommy salommy lyrics

[intro: announcer]
epic rap battles of my ass

osama bin laden
versus!
whe*where’s waldo?

[verse 1: osama bin laden]
this is a folly of a boy named “where’s wally”
like a lost kid in a store who just can’t find his mommy
world’s most wanted man, everyone’s dying to take me down
but just in case you’re curious, i’ll tell you where i can be found
on the front lines with associates, guarding islam from the soviets
the crowds on your pages are copious, but your number of b*tches is close to this:
caused the war on terror, controlling countries like puppetry
and i build layered rhymes like this was my construction company
hunted by the cia, 25 mil on my head
the reward for finding you is just some kindergarten street cred
if i got ahold of you i’d make you wish you were dead
because your shirt reminds me of a flag i’d gladly rip to shreds
you little freak, don’t meddle with the middle east, i’ll put a metal piece between your brittle british t**th and go full auto
then dump you in the desert heat and leave you there for weeks and weeks until your family begins to wonder “where’s waldo?”

[verse 2: waldo]
consider this revenge for all the souls you’ve taken
i’m serving up some beef because you can’t eat bacon

greenlight your execution like i’m “wald*obama”
you’re a bandit on the run, while i’m a world traveler
learned scholar, stealth expert, renowned rap battler
bruv, i’m not ashamed to be a best*selling mascot
so nomadic and hairy, you’re like a middle eastern sasquatch
i hide in plain sight, going unseen
you hijack plane flights with the mujahideen
you created al*qaeda, but your rhymes all kinda suck
the only time you rock the house is if you’re blowing it up
troops from libya to yemen, but you still cannot harm me
wearing white stripes, i’m taking down your seven nation army
it’s blowing up in your face, can you taste the gunpowder?
for a guy who always wears a bathrobe, you don’t smell like you shower
[verse 3: osama bin laden]
i’ll turn these white stripes red by the time we’re done
promised 72 virgins, but i’m only seeing one
blasting u.s ships in the boatyard, got a flamethrower and i roast hard
my words will leave you so sharred, and i’ll fuel the flames with your post cards
middle of the desert but i’m still as cold as isis
i am the flyest dude on the no fly list
put the “rad” in “radical” and the “fun” in “fundamentalist”
but warn your brother odlaw, ’cause i’m known to take down twins

[verse 4: waldo]
you can fight for your land without aiming for civilians
while you’re raking in casualties, my book’s raking in billions
when seal team six arrived, you hid behind your fifth wife
filled with more lead than gigabytes of hentai on your zip drive
some say that was a body double, but that’s just insane
unless they mean your body doubled over in pain
in both hiding and rapping i guess you’ll always be number two
call your buddy george bush ’cause waldo just took the w

- tommy salommy lyrics

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