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smash the frickin’ fairies - tom smith (2) lyrics

there’s a fairy grove in my back yard
i found it just last night
and the fairies come to have some fun
in the silvery moonlight
they’re lovelier than anything
that you have ever seen
and when you smash them with a brick
their blood’s all thick and green
smash the frickin’ fairies
smash the frickin’ fairies
smash the frickin’ fairies
bash ’em in the head
smash the frickin’ fairies
giggly sparkly fairies
dumb-ss tiny fairies
make them suckers dead
stupid little fairies
come to dance and sing
hang ’em from my nipples
now they’re fairy bling
tiny little wingspan
see how cute they are
press ’em in a phone book
tape ’em to my car
smash the frickin’ fairies
tacky goofy fairies
cutesy wootsy fairies
i don’t wanna stop
smash the frickin’ fairies
tinkly stinkly fairies
p–py stoopy fairies
squeeze ’em till they pop
who cares about their ancient magic
who cares about their hidden lore
i just like the way they go stiff then go limp
when you catch their heads in a door
who cares about their timeless beauty
who cares if their existence is a shock
i took pictures of them posed with my dominatrix barbie
and my ebay shop can’t keep ’em in stock
some people see the fairies and
their hearts and souls are moved
i tie them to bowling pins
my average has improved
fishing isn’t boring since i
use them now for bait
they’re also good as shredded cheese
their life is really grate
the fairies joined together
came to each other’s aid
too bad i had a shotgun
and a big ol’ can of raid
so now they’re really frightened
they’re sad and mad and vexed
and when i take the fairies down
the hobbits all are next!
smash the frickin’ fairies
dainty pretty fairies
gaudy bawdy fairies
crush them under trains
anvil at the ready
drop it on their head-ee
bring in some undead-ee
zombie fairy brains!
smash the frickin’ fairies
stupid cutesy fairies
icky nasty fairies
bust their little heads
smash the frickin’ fairies
fill their cemetaries
then i woke up, doctor
can you please adjust my meds?

- tom smith 2 lyrics

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