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plant a radish - tom jones and harvey schmidt lyrics

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[hucklebee] (spoken)
how’s your garden?

[bellomy] (spoken)
growing!

[hucklebee] (spoken)
mine, too

[bellomy] (spoken)
so dependable
gardens go on growing

[hucklebee] (spoken)
yes, indeed, they do

[bellomy] (spoken)
i tell you, i love vegetables

[hucklebee] (spoken)
it’s true. i love them, too

(they shake hands and sing.)

[bellomy] (sung)
plant a radish
get a radish
never any doubt
that’s why i love vegetables;
you know what you’re about!
[hucklebee]
plant a turnip
get a turnip
maybe you’ll get two
that’s why i love vegetables;
you know that they’ll come through!

[bellomy]
they’re dependable!

[hucklebee]
they’re befriend*able!

[both]
they’re the best pal a parent’s ever known!

[bellomy]
while with children

[hucklebee]
it’s bewilderin’

[both]
you don’t know until the seed is nearly grown

[bellomy]
just what you’ve sown
[both]
so
plant a carrot
get a carrot

[hucklebee]
not a brussel sprout

[both]
that’s why i love vegetables
you know what you’re about!

[bellomy]
life is merry

[hucklebee]
if it’s very

[both]
vegetarian!
a man who plants a garden
is a very happy man!

(this second chorus they sing like a vaudeville team complete with little dance steps.)

[hucklebee]
plant a beanstalk
get a beanstalk
just the same as jack
then if you don’t like it
you can always take it back!
[bellomy]
but if your issue
doesn’t kiss you
then i wish you luck
for once you’ve planted children
you’re absolutely stuck!

[both]
every turnip green!
every kidney bean!
every plant grows according to the plot!

[hucklebee]
while with progeny

[bellomy]
it’s hodge*podgenee

[both]
for as soon as you think you know what kind you’ve got

[bellomy]
it’s what they’re not!

[both]
so
plant a cabbage
get a cabbage

[hucklebee]
not a sauerkraut!

[both]
that’s why i love vegetables
you know what you’re about!

life is merry
if it’s very
vegetarian
a man who plants a garden
is a very happy man!

[hucklebee]
a vegetari*

[bellomy]
very merry

[both]
vegetarian!

- tom jones and harvey schmidt lyrics

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