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i'm no comedian - tom green lyrics

ha
ha
for those of you that think this is, a comedy record…
check it!
[verse 1:]
i’m no comedian
i’m a fiend for nicotene
but i don’t need a cigarette
know what i mean?
i keep ’em bustin’ a nut
on these routines
you’ll never see a brick wall
back of my blue jeans
so come around
open your mouth for protein
if rockin’ the mic was a drug
then i’m a dope fiend
there’s not a neon sign that says
“yum, yums” or “cracker jacks”
my raps are causin’ laugh attacks
not knock knock jokes
i tickle trunks
now who’s on first?
you silly punks
home, without hit re-runs
it won’t be syndicated sitcoms
just me droppin’ bombs
’cause i’m no comedian
i’m droppin’ dope like this one
it’s not carrot top causin’ a sh-t storm
i’m break wreck
roll over ya like a german tank
there’s no redemption
this ain’t shawshank
or johnny carson
or buddy mark
unless pee-wee herman
but funny like biz markee
but i ain’t no joke
on the mic i’m a killa
so go get in a cac–n and curl up like a caterpillar
you wanna have a chuckle? (ha, ha)
i’m not in the mood
so just buckle up your seat buckle
and prepare for impact
and if you’re wearin’ your r-t-rd helmet then you’ll be intact
[chorus:]
i’m droppin’ dope like this one (ha, ha, ha, ha)
i’m no comedian
i’m droppin’ dope like this one
and i ain’t no joke
[verse 2:]
i’m no comedian
i got too many fat raps
and sucka emcees flat like flapjacks
i’m not tellin’ a joke or a riddle
i’m not jack paar
jumpin’ on a stool in the middle of the stage
under the spotlight
i’m just a roastin’ most of ya
never been toasted
i’m the poster for boastin’
i got more flows than your foes
and tongue-tied in a twiddle
dee-dot, duh-deedle-deedle dum!
ha, ha (ha, ha)
i’m no comedian
i’m rippin’ it up in every medium
i sound dope
you sound like you’re on helium
so say h-llo to my ex at your next a.a. meetin’
and don’t make me laugh
oh wait, that’s right
you don’t make me laugh
you got the personality of an overp-ss
your bank account on overdraft
while i’ll be dippin’ dollar bills in your girlfriends -ss
i’m blowin’ your brain like the sax
with my rhymes
shapin’ your ball like kojack
throw jacks, and smokes
and tell jokes when no one laughs
give a shrug and drop it on another track
this is a payback
prepare for impact
put on your r-t-rd helmet and you’ll be intact
hooo!
[chorus]

i’m no comedian
i’m droppin’ dope like this one
i’m no comedian
i’m droppin’ dope like this one
i ain’t no joke.

- tom green lyrics

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