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concerning lix & fairs - toehider lyrics

concerning lix & fairs, well that’s a good‘un
and i hope you have the ear strength to listen to the whole thing

lix was a good man, to be sure, and sure liked to have his good fun
and like everyone, he has his flaws, and yep, overpartying’s one
so when malcolm came in to dust the suspects, lix fired a shot of “all*ray”
with a whoosh he was whisked to the nearby woods, and time skipped to later that day

ok i’m not sure, i can’t really say just how he obtained that weird “all*ray”
nah i don’t know, (and i really don’t care) but i rеmember the night that lix found fairs;

a poison dart frog *cl!cks fingеrs* that’s right! a bright tiny son*of*a*gun
he spotted the leap*about late that night while trawling the woods for his son
so lix picks him up with a stick ‘n says “hi” to his new dendrobatidae chum

“you’re small as a tick * i’m calling you fairs” it lept in the brim of the hat on his head
2 new friends, an unlike*ely pair the old mate lix and a frog named fairs
2 best friends, the inseparable pair the moustached lix and the dart frog fairs

in the fragile hours of the night/day downgrade
they came across the eggsh*ll, and weird track marks in the sand
followed them for oh, maybe 7 hours?
through trampled weeds and flowers
it led them to the site
of the parliament of owls at their annual meeting
another baffled greeting, as they explain “he was just here!”
they drew another map, and so he headed westward
but the owl’s directions and the creature’s tracks didn’t correspond…
lix was a mess * a panic attack! but fairs calmly croaked in the brim of his hat
a mash of the keys, and a shot of all*ray didn’t help as the same spot there they stayed
now lix didn’t know how fast he could run with a poncho, hat and a fickle ray gun
but i couldn’t time, i wouldn’t dare how quick was the air from lix & fairs

now listener, don’t be sad when i tell you they almost nearly made it
they watched the creature dive in…

the weird all*knowing activates its suckers and it latched to that which hatched
but soon it gets distracted * whack! attacked there by our moustached hero with the all*ray in his hand!

then a frog to feast on flaps its flippers, so the fierce old cephalo
pod springs forth (with fifty hundred fangs) and goes to chomp our now huge
friend with poison oozing from its skin!

fiddling controls again, lix takes another shot but what? fairs leaps out in the way! oblivious to what is happening
suddenly fairs is large! big as a whale so lix jumps on
oh no, the monster lunges, lix has no other choice but to
sacrifice fairs, his best friend just to save himself

the squiddy beast poisoned, all shrivelled it be
the rock creature sunk on down into the sea
lix swam to shore with tears in his eyes
and fairs shrunk back down to his usual size
and malcolm would pass, and who should he find?
well, maybe we’ll leave that till next time

- toehider lyrics

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