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john wilkes booth vs freddy fazbear - toastieisirish lyrics

remember back in march 12th where toastie and egg decided to create bo burnham vs saul goodman? well…2 weeks later…they decided to make another rap battle…

epic s*x!
john wilkes booth!
vs
freddy fazbear!!!
begin!!!!!

[verse 1: freddy fazbear]
hor hor hor hor hor hor hor hor hor hor hor
you’re lame as sh*t
i’m gonna f*cking steal your kidneys
and put them on pizza
cuz why the f*ck not you b*tch?!
um…
i’m sh*t in your pants
and make everybody think you sh*t yourself but in reality…
it was me!
f*ck you!!!
i*teh*hee
you…you needed to k!ll john wilkes booth for fame!
i only needed for someone to k!ll 5 children here to be famous
f*ck you
b*tch

…car rises on your b*lls*
[verse 2: john wilkes booth]
alright, freddy! welcome to arby’s!
i really love their curly fries and you can suck on ar*deez
you’re going to need it with a shovel and bail
everything you did was an epic fail
wait sh*t! that’s the wrong battle! i’m not bart simpson!
i hate you, lincoln! wait…sh*t! f*ck you!
b*tch…
cum. ass. motherf*cker
f*cking hoe b*tch!!!
*gun noise made with mouth*

[verse 3: phantom freddy]
motherf*cker! f*ck you b*tch!!!
i’m gonna sh*t!
and i’m gonna f*cking k!ll you!
*unintelligible gibberish*
also…you got f*cking ratioed
cuz they put one pennies on your grave!!!
they f*cking ratioed you irl!!!
how f*cking sad do you have to be for that to happen?!

[verse 4: john wilkes booth]
oh sh*t, he’s back to life
umm…well then!!!
i hate you! i voiced cracked
f*ck you! i hate you!
i’m going*i have a gun d*ck!
i k!lled abraham lincoln because i wanted attention!!!
no i f*cking didn’t!!!
you needed a 40 year old virgin who is a pedophile to k!ll you!!!
f*ck you!!! i hate you!!!
you*i am going to block you on discord!!!
i hate you!!!
jared s!!! come over here!!!!!!!!!!
[verse 4: jared s]
did someone say my name? well it’s my turn to rhyme!
oh…freddy, you closed your channel down? it’s about time!
oh wait…this is the wrong battle! i’m not facing icekingfan 400!
well…oh well. i’m just gonna f*ck b*tches!!!
….yeah!

“f*ck you matthew. why’d you make me record? f*cking film for this sh*t?”

“oh…oh god! oh sh*t!!!”

[verse 5: the flash]
coming so fast, you’ll need a cast!
you’ll need a cast like darklink’s ass
f*xlsfisifsjfdjcnfoapc
that was complete gibberish!
i don’t give a f*ck! cuz. i. f*ck. bit. ches!
oh wait, i stole that line from jared s
you know what? f*ck you, b*tch!
yes i rhymed b*tch with b*tch!
i don’t give two sh*ts!
ay…
i rap fast like i’m sonic.exe!
i traveled back in time to crack your mother!
and now i can say like darth vader said, “i am your father”!
[verse 6: arthur morgan]
i’m arthur morgan
and i have tuberculosis
*starts coughing*
*has seizure as the arthur morgan coughing sound effect (bass boosted) fades in*
*taco bell dong*

[verse 7: adolf hitler]
i am adolf hitler!!!
you are so f*cking uncool that you f*cking died!!!
what kind of person f*cking dies?!
while f*cking rap*it wasn’t even a cool death!!!
you had a f*cking seizure! what the f*ck is wrong with you?!
seizures aren’t even associated with tuberculosis!!!
what the f*ck?!
even i’m surprised and i f*cking k!lled people!!!
what the sh*t?! you’re just on the f*cking ground!!!
do i need to call emergency services?!

…ur um uh…
who won?
who’s next?
you decide f*ckers!

be prepared for the next installment of epic s*x

- toastieisirish lyrics

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