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charm and arrogance - toasted heretic lyrics

very broad of shoulder, slightly less of mind
here is the boy she left behind
his the behind she left before she met me… honestly

and he says “hey” and i say “what?”
and he says, “what cha got that i ain’t got?”
and i say “pardon?” and he says “hey!
what’s she see in you anyway?”

and i say
“well i’m s*xy as h*ll
i’m an excellent lover and reasonable cook
she likes my wit, and the way that i spit
and she adores the narratorial voice of my book
her love of my lyrics is only surpassed
by her great admiration for my vocal inflections
she approves of my charity, complexional clarity
dress sense, intelligence, all*day erections
delights in my habit of quoting from nabokov
can’t get enough of my old*world gentility
thinks that my sketches of local letches
show an exceptional technical facility
found it charming that on my disarming a recent intruder
at four in the morning
i fined him his trousers, wallet and gun
let him off with a warning, and forgot to tell anyone
some if not all of these characteristics
lead to her lipstick’s being on me.”

- toasted heretic lyrics

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