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a self repressed lie - tjalling lyrics

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i’m not allowed to let it out
i could not find my way
all the way into
the night, your life

you know the drill
i walk around
in between these two
realities with you

should have seen what i saw in you
could have felt so wonderful
should have seen what it means
what i saw in you

as i write you out of my head, don’t just stand there
i can’t stand that
oh, how we turned air into something else
we became indifferent
indifferent to all the people and their trouble
no matter what would they say
they would hurt us anyway

should have seen what i saw in you
could have felt so wonderful
should have seen what it means
what i saw in you

always needing more
i’ll be at your door
closer than before
i wish that you could hear me

always needing more (do you want some more)
i’ll be at your door (because i’m always bored)
closer than before (do you want some more)
i wish that you could help me

always needing more
i’ll be at your door
closer than before
i wish that you could want me

something so strange, can’t let it slide
until i break, i’ll try to fight

but not for long, your scent is too strong
freaking me out with one single touch

don’t ask me why, i won’t know how
to find any words describing the love

something so strange, can’t let it slide

please, let me fly all through your life
i know i should cry but i’m too mesmerized

something so strange, can’t let it slide

eyes open wide
realization of a self repressed lie
i don’t feel fine
& i won’t feel fine

i danced around the fire
i promised to inspire
sadly
only ashes to admire

my vision, so dull so bleak
under saturated black and white compositions
a disorienting work of visual art
as the movement of everything becomes nothing more
than a blur

didn’t try, wouldn’t work
never did so i stay put

watch the cars, watch the sky
sift through days, you’re in the corner of my eye

a fragile heart under skin & bones

some people talk, other ones cry
but not me, let it build up inside

i don’t have words for what i found
can’t get you out of my system

we shouldn’t wait, there is no time
we shouldn’t wait, everything p-sses by

would you want to lie to me?
ever so slightly
so i can p-ss through life
while suffering quietly
did we dance that night?
or did you trick my mind?
did i watch you sleep?
or did my mind trick me?

this has to be it (i won’t go)
this has to mean something to you
this has to mean something, but maybe not enough

frying my brain but won’t forget anything
nothing works, i can’t k!ll you
though i’m still frying, won’t forget i was trying
nothing works
i’m done trying, i’m done trying
it doesn’t work

cannot close my eyes
i see it all p-ss me by
can’t say i haven’t tried
believing the lie

i’m stuck where i stand
& i want to reach for your hand
you’re so far away
i might just drown in the sand

there is no time, i don’t have words
push a hand through a wall, but does it exist?

are they staring at me? with no life in their eyes
no cloud in the sky, that can’t be right

picture you and there you are
am i wandering too far?
that is not quite your hair
and that’s not quite your smile

i’m not all there, so i don’t try
i wish to see a certain sky
wish to believe a certain lie
that makes me feel what you can do

there’s no way for it to change
slowly losing color
we won’t ever solve this
there’s no way for it to change
slowly losing life
we won’t ever solve this

there is no way for it to change

i will not change

no way

i can’t stop it, so i just drop it
sit out my time for another day
i have these dreams, they keep me reeling
but you don’t really need me

i can’t stop it, so i just drop it
sit out my time for another day
i have these dreams, they keep me reeling

- tjalling lyrics

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