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timothy’s story - timothy brindle lyrics

[verse 1]
1980 * pittsburgh, pennsylvania, yep, that’s where i was born
mom raised her 4 boys herself after the divorce
without dad’s discipleship, lacked passion for the lord
my soul was actually nasty and ghastly to the core
spiritually speaking, i was actually a corpse
like dead bodies that have been wrapped up in the morgue
desires for messiah? no, i didn’t have diddly!
a slave to the pride and the violence that’s within me
in the early nineties, moved to the east side of the city
i began to prize it, it was vibrant and gritty
the black kids at school quickly had me fascinated
but my lack of brown skin had me mad and aggravated
we all assumed black and white based on the construct
based on our optic, never thought we should stop it
acceptance was what i was obsessed with at my school
impressed them that i’m cool, i’m an exception to the rule
but some bullies, unruly, would shame and pick on me
for my race, ethnicity, but i would take it instantly
’cause i thought i deserved it from our nation’s history
of enslavement & the ways of discriminating wickedly
lied to get known, i despised my skin tone
under karl kani jeans, i would hide my thin bones
disguised with baggy pants, mom bought fellows loads
the only cross that i loved was cross colours clothes
16 years old, began to drop stellar flows
i longed for the props and to rock h*lla shows
into rockefella? no, i was a wu*tang fan
dreamed i’d be the lightest member of the wu*tang clan!
i wasn’t loving god, i was such a fraud
and i used my skin color just to be an underdog
to sneak attack cats in rap battles
with my backpack, i back*slapped wack rappers out their saddles!
[hook 1]
this is my story, when i was lost and heartless
this is my story, when i walked in constant darkness
i longed for the praise of man and not the great i am
i used race for my praise, it was a blatant scam
this is my story, when i was lost and heartless
this is my story, when i walked in constant darkness
i longed for the praise of man and not the great i am
i used race for my praise, it was a blatant scam

[verse 2]
bro, i spit rugged lyrics, but son, i wasn’t fearless
because i feared man, i was judging by appearance
see, i used the idea of race for my convenience and praise
i was a slave to man*pleasing for days!
i used those who are called “black” or minority
for their approval and for their dap, that’s adoring me
plus, i used those the world calls “white” people
to exalt myself over them, to show they’re quite evil
but my partiality was wicked and graceless
in hebrew, partiality means “lifter of faces”
thus, i lived for others just to give me their praises
deceived myself that only whites are bigots and racists
boasted a ton of abundant rugged flavor
but in my partiality, i didn’t love my neighbor
these were my attempts on my own to be righteous
welcomed being shamed to atone for my whiteness
hip hop was my identity, my tendency
was especially to use it just to get more friends for me
pretending i was some underground celebrity
yet, dead in my sins, the blessed king’s my enemy!
in spite of my dope clothes, my robes were too dirty!
i cried out to you, lord, for your huge mercy
you heard me! by your precious blood, you purged me
in philly, right across the bridge from new jersey
now clothed in your righteousness, yes, my new jersey
was on a highway to h*ll, but your truth turned me
saved me a week prior to 9/11
to disciple me with the bible, you provided brethren
now ideologies of race, i despise their leaven
instead of “white guy”, from multiples tribes, i’ve descended
so now i will rhyme for messiah who died to rise and ascended
just to provide every blessing!
[hook 2]
this is my story of how i used race (race!)
then for his glory, yo, he showed my true grace (grace!)
the spirit gave me ears to hear what is written
so now, who i am in christ is clearly sufficient
this is my story of how i used race (race!)
then for his glory, yo, he showed my true grace (grace!)
the spirit gave me ears to hear what is written
so now, who i am in christ is clearly sufficient

[verse 3]
god the father chose me through his sovereign election!
the son accomplished redemption, brought resurrection
sent me floriana, she embodies his blessing
and best believe that i love her chocolate complexion!
and she loves my sweet vanilla skin
plus she keeps me diligent, for the lord jesus, we be k!lling sin!
now we got silly kids, but they love christ jesus
and they love their complexions for all the right reasons
’cause we’re each fearfully and wonderfully made
dark hearts made clean, so we’ve begun to behave
all 8 of our kids got different flavors of skin
from the creator who lives who has paid for their sins
now i can live with or without hip hop
now i live to give him props, ’cause he’s god & tim’s not
no longer seated in my cell, jesus is my wealth
we’re his chosen race, so i’m free to be myself
so i can dress like i’m urban, rural, or suburban
’cause in christ, i wear his pure garments and his turban
no longer do i use race or employ it
instead, all man*made theories of race, i’ll destroy it!
christ saved me from my identity crisis
“in christ” is my identity, my identity’s priceless
we’re both people of color, me and my wifey flo
and according to the lord, yo, we’re both “white as snow!”

- timothy brindle lyrics

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