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2020 baftas - tim minchin lyrics

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[minchin]
perhaps my greatest fear
among my many fears vis*à*vis covid*19
is that, in the coming years
there will be even more film
and episodic tv
about zombies

i think i’ll write a zombie film
set in hollywood
in which the writers all get bitten
by a zombie carrying a disease
which, when you are infected
manifests in a desire
to write zombie films

i know our job is to hold a mirror up to society
but i’ve been avoiding mirrors of late, ’cause it’s got so godd*mn ugly
remember when cersei lannister
was absurd hyperbole?
but now she seems quite tame
and her naked walk of shame
being pelted with human poo

[background singers]
pelted with human poo
[minchin]
is just what we daily do
on twitter

[background singers]
daily do on twitter

[minchin]
i know i sound bitter
but tell me, how do you make great art
when reality has jumped the shark?

[background singer]
who cares?

[minchin]
let’s raise the rafters
it’s the 2020 baftas!

[background singers]
2020 baftas!

[minchin]
no one’s stronger than an artist in a crisis

[background singers]
artist in a crisis
[minchin]
come h*ll or high water
pandemic or disorder
we will stand up

[background singers]
stand up!

[minchin]
to give each other prizes

if there’s no one to applaud me, who am i?

[background singers]
no one to applaud him, who is he?

[minchin]
no camera to record these real tears that i cry?

[background singers]
real tears that he cries?

[minchin]
will i just shrivel up and die?

[background singers]
die! die! die!
[minchin]
if an actor dressed as a tree falls in a forest

[background singers]
crash!

[minchin]
and the self*tape doesn’t upload

[background singers]
oh no!

[minchin]
does she even exist?

[background singers]
does she even exist?

[minchin]
and if matilda stays closed
am i still rich?

welcome, you arty martyrs
to the 2020 baftas
tell me, who is the designer of your tracksuit?

[background singers]
tell me, tell me, who designed your tracksuit?

[minchin]
let’s get through these awards
and get back to our real jobs:
signing virtuous petitions in our ugg boots

[background singers]
lovely, lovely ugg boots

[minchin]
to all your clever nominees
i hope you’re very, very pleased
i’m not bitter that my show wasn’t nominated

[background singers]
it’s got 8.6 on imdb

[minchin]
i hope you have fun
remember * whether you lost or won
doesn’t matter

[background singers]
doesn’t matter

[minchin]
’cause the planet’s almost dead!

all the legends and the laughter
on the 2020 baftas
gee, it’s gonna be a h*ll of a party!

[background singers]
virtually! virtually a party!

[minchin]
if this song was too ironic
sarcastic or sardonic
we’d better hand you back
to richard ayoade

[background singers]
richard ayoade

- tim minchin lyrics

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