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live life on a diet - tim hawkins lyrics

[verse 1]
i was working in the backyard, and i was working so hard
that i had to take the shirt off of my back
and while the sun was glaring, i couldn’t see him staring
but from my front porch, i heard my young son laugh
i said, “son, what’s so funny?”, then he pointed at my tummy
and i realized what he was laughing at
it was all my fat

[chorus 1]
so i went bike riding, then i started jazzercising
i ran 2.7 minutes in a pair of spandex pants
and i breathe deeper, i’m a salad eater
and i still eat chicken, but i don’t fry it
and i said my son, i hope you never have
to live life on a diet

[verse 2]
well, i started eating rice chex, i even bought a bowflex
even though i’ve only used it once or twice
i gave up twinkies and ding dongs, onion rings and footlongs
and those pints of ben & jerry’s late at night
then i bought a juicer, and my pants were fitting looser
and at one point, i could almost see my feet
man, it was pretty sweet
[chorus 2]
so i went rock climbing, then i started jazzercising
i rode 3.7 minutes on a bike i bought from sears
and i breathe deeper, i’m a no*carb eater
and i hate wheat germ, but i still tried it
and i said my son, i hope you never have
to live life on a diet

[bridge]
there’s a birthday cake on the table
and i don’t think i’m able
what will i do with it, what should i do with it
what will i do with it?
oh, the heck with it!!

[chorus 3]
i quit bike riding, then i quit aerobicising
i spent 4.7 hours at rudy’s bbq
and i’m big and lazy, i eat biscuits and gravy
if i see a milkshake, i’m gonna buy it
and i said my son, i never let myself
live life on a diet
live life on a diet
live life on a diet
live life on a diet
live life on a diet

- tim hawkins lyrics

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